When Nothing Makes Sense Trust Me

30 April, 2026

Hello family, I finally put baby girl to sleep, and for the past 3 days it's been so hard to record or get anything done. She hasn’t been sleeping well at night and is still restless and can feel when I leave her. She wasn’t like that before but now wakes up so that I can't work or pray, and during the afternoon is her longest nap, but that is when the Lord is wanting me to get a message, and after doing that and editing it a bit, she is up until she sleeps, which leaves me no room to do ministry work and finish off the messages with records, etc., to get them to you.

So I have been a bit overwhelmed and trying to figure out when I can knock out ministry work since I keep getting laziness in B.P. The Lord has been really taxing me. Then yesterday I got the rhema: a sheep without a shepherd is a vulnerable sheep. It was this morning I discerned he was talking about me and not anyone in the group. As I sat with the Holy Spirit, he brought to my mind instruction given to me by Mother Clare that I haven't adhered to yet and that is permanently moving into the mission house as my beloved does his work in the Ivory Coast.

He hasn’t left yet, and when in Ghana, we stay in the main city, Accra, together. I was thinking of visiting the mission house next week for a few days and coming back, but the Lord was making it clear it was now time to move there. As I thought about leaving my beloved in the city and now going. Many doubts entered my mind and fears as well. Again I struggled to have my family separated, and it seemed every time we did, there was a major trial, plus it was hard for Rose to adjust again and bond with him. Us being gone for two months this time, he felt it and said he didn’t want us going away that long again. So I was confused and torn with this request from the Lord this morning.

I pulled Rhema, as I thought, Lord, why and how is this good for our family and even our marriage because of past issues?

The first rhema card said, "Be steadfast and work without fear." St Raphael the Archangel, I was like, Okay, Lord and Archangel Raphael.

The second card was a picture referencing the movie The Shack during the judgement seat scene, and Jesus was asking me, 'Are you the judge now?' I laughed and apologised because he knew in my heart I was judging my beloved, although now with this idea I am even judging Him, God, with this requesting, thinking Lord. Every time there is a trial when we separate, how can the fruit be good? And I had thought before I pulled the card, 'I bet from the Lord's perspective he sees these trials that we go through as fruitful when I see them as fruitless,' so I knew he was speaking about that.

The last card was my favourite and really made me smile; it was a prophetic word from Father Ezekiel years ago before I got married to Derrick. From Feb 2022

It said, “Your husband is a beautiful man," Derrick.

I thought, 'Wow, okay, Uncle, you hit the nail on the head.' Fine.'

Then the Holy Spirit said I should always submit to my beloved, but I must share with him the Lord's instructions, and he would give him clarity as to what to do as a family. So we talked briefly, and I shared with him the rhema and my faults. He smiled and was amused by the rhymes and reassured me, and he said he would think of a way to work out this request. So I had great peace in now doing the Lord's will and figuring it out as a family together. Immediately, baby girl went to sleep. I wanted to dive into the messages, record them and get to work, but I got jealousy and joy rather than hearing from the Lord to get a new message.

So I came before Jesus.

Forgive me, Lord, for putting off getting a new word. It just feels my time is so limited now, and I am already backed up with much to do.

Jesus began.

“Well, beloved, there is nothing like a fresh word, clarity, instructions and receiving my love in this way. Thank you for asking me, and thank you for coming."

You're welcome, Lord. You're so kind, meek and sweet. Thank you for having me and wanting to speak with me.

Thanks. Thank you for the heart-shaped tissue as well. I love you too, Lord. What's on your heart?

“I will give you and your beloved peace about all that I am asking. You too. There is nothing to fear, beloved; you were right to think from your vantage point. Every time you have been apart, it seems fruitless, but in my eyes and those of heaven, it is very fruitful, and every action of his and yours will lead you to the perfect end of both of your destinies. I have used it for your good and will continue to; all you need to do is just trust. Trust me, beloved, your presence is important there more than you know; it's time to get busy with my work. As you are faithful to me with what you have been called to do, so much grace is released upon him and will cause him to be faithful to me also, and much grace and blessing will fall upon his business and eventually lead him straight to the City of God project. Oh, just trust me. "Jesus had a twinkle in his eye."

Okay, Lord, I trust you.

Do you have work for the flock, Lord?

'Trust' is a simple word but so hard to do. I need the trust of all my brides in this hour. I write straight with crooked lines, so even when things don't make sense, they make a lot of sense to me. For my wisdom is much greater than your human reasoning. I see everything, from beginning to end, how every action is like a domino and will affect you in the long run, and if you listen and trust me, it will lead you to your destiny. The trials I allow are steeped in trust. Your trust must supersede your understanding, my beloved. Bride, think this way, and you will go far with me.

When nothing makes sense, trust me, I am moving. What I am asking for from my brides is total surrender of how you think things should be done versus how I desire to do them. When you let go in this way, you will have much more peace knowing that I am in all things, and if things don’t go as planned, you can still say, 'Lord, I trust you because this is also part of your plan.' The greater your level of abandonment to me, the greater your trust and your faith will grow. Its souls who have great trust in me have gone through many trials testing of their faith and have found me faithful, so when I lead them or ask them for something or even take from them, they know my heart and trust they are in God's hands with whatever may happen and whatever outcome that transpires, knowing that I will work it out for their good."

Lord, I’m sorry I got distracted. My heart is sickened by the truth of what has been going on for so long. How do you do it, Lord?

“Well, beloved, don’t get too curious; all that does is take you down into a deeper, darker tunnel of abyss and misery. Only go where I lead you, but as Solomon said, nothing is new under the sun. Wickedness existed at the fall of man and continued onto the days of Noah. They were doing much of the same thing, beloved; nothing is new. It's just much older in your time and generation; they have glamorised the demonic and everything evil, so they have desensitised my people, lulling the masses into sleep using media and entertainment, and even when they speak about it, no one takes them seriously because that is how many people have been veiled.

2 Corinthians 4:4

Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.

become so unaware, so undeserving and so hypnotised by the world, but as my brides pray, I am removing more and more veils, but stay with me, my beloved brides, in the highest place. Seated with me in heaven, don’t go into the bowls of darkness unless I lead you for information; then come back up to your position and use it to pray."

Lord, I don’t think I can ever see worldly movies and actors the same. I’m so disappointed and turned off by it all.

“Well, good, beloved. Now pray for them all and stay focused on your mission and what I have called you to do. Be very focused, beloved, very focused. Ask me for that grace; you must beg steadily now and work diligently, and I will take care of all else."

That was the end of Jesus' message.