Forgive Yourself, I Have Forgiven You

May 11, 2025

Hello, brothers, sisters, and Heartdwellers family. May we all continue to preserve in joyous hope that    the Lord is not surprised by our failures and meets us with grace.

Oh, I had a terrible fall, truly. My pride continues to get the best of me, for sure. Being at home now, with family, I am continuously bumping heads when trying to get a point across, or my interpretation of scripture is challenged, or trying to have the way I see things understood. It first started in an innocent conversation, then became a heated argument when I wanted to convey how following our cultural traditions can lead to idolatry and rebellion.

We were speaking about Pastor James Kawalya and how I saw another minister vouching for him, which was encouraging. A word of caution was mentioned about the minister, which led to gossip, then led to strife. As another made accusations about the minister, [it] then led to us talking about traditions, rituals, and culture.  It was downhill from there.

I felt so sick to my stomach all evening and so frustrated because I am continuously bumping heads with this soul. I know the problem is me—it’s my flesh, my pride that just will not lay down. I thought, for sure I would get a strong rebuke and correction from the Lord but the rhemas I pulled were rather encouraging. The Lord made it clear that He knew I was in a hard position and that He would help me to make things easier and to also forgive them, they just don’t know.

I then used Mother Angelica’s life lessons book to get a readings and I chuckled because the passage I got was spot on and I am sure everyone can relate to not getting along with someone you live with and how to handle that.

It read,

When she was a young sister in Canton, Ohio Mother Angelica deeply disliked a certain sister in the monastery. She could not tolerate being near    the nun, and avoided her like the plague. Sister Angelica regular tool her problem to Confession, During one of the sessions the priest asked Angelica why she entered cloister life “to be a saint” she replied He told her, If you really want to be a saint you should expect somebody hard to live with. “ To be a saint , he told me I had to  consider my “problem sister an opportunity to that end. Thats when I decide that I would make an for to be nice to her. It took a log of sweat and biting of my Tonge, but we became good friend.

Not getting along with someone is tw-way street, and many times if one of you is willing to change, the whole relationship can change. I think thats true with any kind of friendship, particularly with negative personalities. Someone has to get in there and begin the healing. As long as two people are fighting noting good will happen- and we shouldn’t expect th either present o change first. We must look to ourselves. We must endeavor to love those around us even those we are not instantly disposed to love. Our salvation depends upon it.

When I woke up in the morning I still couldn’t shake off this heaviness and sadness. I used Mother Clares second edition rhema book and got readings about “gossip and judging others” I thought there it is. I knew the person was also highly offended; although I was speaking the truth through scriptures the way I went about it wasn’t the best. Sure enough, I had received a rhema that evening as well from St. Therese that said, “Never a harsh word, a hard look, harsh in your actions. Always be gentle”, and I wasn’t.

I had attempted to hear form the Lord the day before, but I just couldn’t breakthrough. I longed to hear from Him because I knew He is what I needed.

The second reading in Mother Clare’s rhema book was hearing and seeing Jesus, as the Holy Spirit encouraged me to press in, use my gifts and hear from the Lord despite my struggles with doubt and unbelief lately.

So, feeling awful I came before the Lord after doing the Lords Supper,

Jesus I feel really awful about myself. I just want to crawl in a hole. Much has been on my mind. I have been assailed with so much doubt in hearing your voice. Please restore that grace. Or better yet, help me to cooperate and not stop coming to hear from You.

“You feel low because of the conviction and the drudgery of sin when you gossip and judge others, Beloved, and that is why I brought it to your attention so that you may confess, repent, and be free from condemnation. Do not continue to beat yourself up concerning this, concerning all your weakness or failures or concerning the weakness and failures of others. You allow your sufferings to burden far to much, Beloved. I am using everything so pick up your chin and smile. There are better days ahead, Beloved.”

 I then felt Jesus before me, picking up my chin and smiling at me. Thank you Lord for trying to cheer me up.

“Oh, why it didn’t work? You said trying.”

His response to me made me laugh. Okay thank you, Lord for cheering me up a bit. Change me and help me to get rid of self.

“Oh, that I will do, Beloved. You are a working progress just like all My other brides. Continue to trust in My mercy when you fail in different areas. Look to me, ask for forgiveness, forgive yourself and move forward in the grace I give you.”

Yes Lord, whats on your heart?

Jesus began,

“Why have you stopped? It’s your unbelief again. Rebuke the enemy of your soul and his devils, Beloved, and keep writing”.

I was really struggling to write. So, I did what He instructed and continued writing.

“I want to talk to My beloved brides about forgiveness, forgiving one’s self  when you fall short in any way. This is what leads to condemnation. When a soul comes tome with sincere contrition and brokeness of heart over what they have done, I receive them sincerely. Not only do I wipe their slate clean but I remember the offense no more. It is truly gone from My mind and My heart, My beloved ones. It’s not a a statement I made in scripture to seem nice, or that I make Myself forget, it is truly forgotten.”

Hebrews 8:12 For I will forgive their iniquities and will remember their sins no more.

“It is the angles that have record of these things written in the book and it is the angels who will come and be used on that day of judgment to declare every dot and title, every action of each soul on that day of judgment. But as for Me, I have made it a point to completely forget.”

Revelations 20:12

And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is he book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books.

“I do not remember it and I desire that you do not remember it either. The enemy loves to keep My brides under a cloud of shame, guilt and condemnation constantly when alll you can see is your sins and faults. it stops you from moving forward and it stops you from using your gifts as well and the main gift is hearing My voice. It completely suffocates and quenches the anointing I give you each day to come to Me to hear My voice.

My forgiveness outstretches My hands on Calvary. I went to great lengths to offer that grace and mercy of forgiveness to you for all the sins you would commit, and have committed. Once you confess and repent you are washed clean and made a new and I long to embrace you and keep you in that embrace so you would know the warmth of My love to sustain you and encourage you because that is what you need after a fall, courage to get up again and move forward.

Oh, My beloved brides, I tell you, you will fall again, and again and again until I return for you or until you enter heaven where you will pristine and purified. So there is no nee to keep beating yourself up with your failures or wrong doings of the past. It doesn’t make sense. You see, I knew these things and know so much more about you but yet I still love you. Yet I still come to you, yet I still make My home and abode in an unclean vessel which I transform to become a vessel unto honor. I know the depths of your sins, your shortcomings and your faults, more than what is revealed to you, and yet, I long desire and cherish each moment I have with you.

“Yes I am a Holy God and in Me there is no shadow or turn of darkness. But Me dwelling in you dispels what darkness is in you. The closer you draw the brighter you will shine as all the dark areas of your soul are brought forth to the light to be dispelled, cleansed and forgiven until you shine bright like the star, Beloved, you are. I have truly forgiven you My beloved brides. I need you to truly forgive yourself. Get up, dust yourself off and just do better today.

Take each failure one day at a time, because there are many more failures ahead that you will face, and I do not need My brides crippled in fear and condemnation. It does you no good—or anyone for that matter. The ‘anyone’ are those I have called you to touch and impact with your life; even rejoice when they see your imperfection, or it is exposed before others , because it yet glorifies My mercy   and is a great example of grace that I do not use perfect vessels, but vessels under construction just as they are.”

Wow, Lord, this is beautiful. But, if I may say,. I feel like have ruined my witness when I act in such a way that is not fitting or becoming. You know I hate that.

“Well, it’s good for you to hate that sin and that fault that causes you to ruin your witness. It’s a good conviction, but do not hate yourself. And know that I have made provision for your fall.  As you come to Me and pray for Me to change you, grow more in that virtue you struggle with and apologize to those you offend. I will turn things around. You can never go wrong, My little one, and My brides, with humility and an apology. Make your wrongs right and know and that I am rewriting your wrongs and making them right. When you do that I see you clean before Me and forgiven.

1 John 1:7

But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.

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