I am So Close, Beloved, So Close

April 10, 2025

Jesus. I know you’re here. I feel so insecure. My goodness, I'm tired of crying. I don't want to cry anymore. I feel so overwhelmed and lonely, although surrounded by family. And I'm really missing my beloved’s presence and love. Help me to take one hour at a time. But most importantly, I need to connect with You. When I don't, everything is off. Not sure how to navigate my time with this precious one, and also connect with You, Jesus. You're my life's course. Please help me. And family, it has still been a struggle. [sigh] After having this procedure, things have changed.

Jesus began.

“I'm here, Beloved. I'm here right before you in the Blessed Sacrament. So close, Beloved. So close.”

I had just pulled a rhema, as an aside, just to see what was on the Lord's heart with my time and just having to rest as well. I just haven't been able to pray, and my schedule is definitely not the same. So, I pulled a rhema and it said, Come to adoration, and that he wanted to speak to me.

“There's no need to cry anymore, My sweet child. You're not alone, nor have you ever been. Yes, this new chapter comes with several different changes. As I mentioned, embrace every single one. If you look at trying to accomplish everything at once, yes, you'll be overwhelmed. For now, I want you to focus on this soul. This soul is the most important thing. This soul can feel it, whether you realize it or not. If your heart and mind are not present when you're with them. So, enjoy each moment, as I was speaking to you earlier. It will go by fast. It truly will. You always had a habit of thinking of the future, missing the moment. You don't want to do that this time around, or you'll surely regret it. Don't think you need to be busy. Just be there for this soul. Whatever this soul demands, provide, Beloved—embracing, kissing, and soothing, be there for the soul, Beloved. As the soul grows, they will have other needs and will become more independent. Their needs will become less. Then you will wish that this soul needed you more, and you will miss it.

“I will help you get on your feet. Focus on that right now. Get appointments made, things that are necessary, and take care of this soul. The channel is fine, and so is the ministry. You set things up properly so that it can run smoothly in your absence. So, no need to worry or feel like you have to do anything, Beloved, but be there for this soul. Be there for Me when I call. We're doing all of this together. So, take a deep breath” [sigh].

Lord, can you help me organize myself, please?

“Yes, Beloved. Rest when you need to rest. But it's good to get up early in the mornings when the soul is asleep and do what you can, rather than sleeping.I will give you grace for the hours you lose. But you're not like everyone else. And you have several responsibilities.”

As an aside, when I was just feeling so overwhelmed and frustrated with my situation, [chuckle], and recognized that other intercessors have gone through this too, yet the Lord seemed to just give them a break. If I could be honest, [chuckle] I'm like, man, Lord, I don't ever get a break. And I pulled the card, and it said,

It's time to put your big girl panties on.

When I wanted to complain and have self-pity about my responsibilities, it was only to get deeper and colder, and I had to swim against the current. I was like, really, Lord? Really? Can I just get a break? So that's what the Lord is addressing here. Truly, I'm not like everyone else.

Jesus continued,

“This is all training for the City of God as well. Children become the center of your lives, and you work around them. Mother Teresa and the Sisters of Charity only slept four hours and spent four hours in prayer. And look at all that they accomplish with a cheerful heart. So do not beat yourself up too much or compare yourself. You have been given graces where others have not. Cooperate with that and you'll be fine. Get what is most important or pressing sorted in the morning. When you have things hanging, especially with this soul who needs of you, and you come into my presence, you'll be very distracted.

“I go nowhere, Beloved. I'm always around you, always with you, ready to listen and speak to you. It doesn't have to be in the morning, it can be in the evening or even after noon. Come and sit with me, and I'll speak to your heart”.

Lord, I'm so sorry. My mind got distracted by those two other souls.

And here I was talking about two souls who are intercessors.

“Well, Beloved, there is some truth to the vision the intercessors had.”

This vision was given to me by one of the intercessors about internal things happening in the ministry. I got a card about just kind of being forewarned about attacks and stuff, and she had a very strong vision, which was very surprising to me, and I just wasn't sure it was from the Lord or not.

“So, pray for the group in your absence and pray for those two souls, but also speak with them and be honest about how you feel and your disappointments in their actions. It is the enemy trying to stir up division, ultimately, but it's important that these two souls are very honest and transparent. More importantly, to be obedient to your direction.”

“When communication breaks down, the enemy comes in with suggestions, accusations, and judgments, and the breach begins. An assignment of division is executed. It's important for them to know how important it is to communicate with you when needed. It's also good for you to be a mother. Take no offence at the actions of your children. Although they can hurt you the most at times. Don't ever back away unless I tell you to let go. Rather, be patient, give grace, confront things in love to get to the root so no roots of division can fester. It has begun, so it would be good to speak with them sooner rather than later. But in love, Beloved, in love.”

“I will also speak to their hearts about their behavior. Although seeming as nothing to them, this will trip them up in the future if they continue with that habit.”

“I want you to be full of joy in this new season, Beloved. It won't be easy, but it's so very good for you. Oh, very good. It's a perfect training ground for all that is ahead of you. You'll have to juggle many responsibilities while keeping children at the center. And you are learning that now for the city of God. So do not despise this time or trials that may come. And always remember you're not alone.”

And that was the end of Jesus’ message.

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