Just A Bit Of My Testimony – Mother Joy

February 2, 2026

So, I just wanted to make this video because- let's see. I am right now, of course, in Salena, Kansas. I'm not on the mountain anymore, but I am officially in my heart a heart dweller. So I have no denomination. I just love what Jesus is doing in my life and I love all denominations that don't follow sin. But I still love those who I talk to because I know that in my heart Jesus loves them and they are His children as well. And I don't push people to follow religion, but I would love for people to have a relationship with Jesus Christ because He saved me from my sin and my destruction. Nothing else did. Nothing. I try to do everything myself and I end up falling. Falling into drugs, falling into sex, falling into the world. I've tried meth, cocaine, weed. I've tried acid. I've had sex with many people. And when I was young, as the Lord would call me back then, I was a whore of the world and a whore of men with men. Um, and I didn't want nothing to do with Jesus.

Even though inside of my heart, I felt like I didn't belong to this world. I felt what I always asked this question in my heart.

Like, how do I get the Holy Spirit? And I didn't want to belong to any church because I felt like they judged me all the time. Like if I said something wrong, they would look at me. They would kick me down, despise me.

Oh, you shouldn't wear this or you shouldn't eat this or you shouldn't do that. But we all, no matter what denomination that we're in, no matter who we're are called, whether we're priests, whether we're people in the church, that have positions in the church, no matter if we're the smallest of the small that nobody knows about, the Lord uses all of His children.

We all have something apart in Him that no one else can take from us. Nobody. And there's going to be people that may not be comfortable with what I'm about to say.

But I just want to let people know that, you know, Jesus has loved me all my life, even through all my sin. And I am not perfect at all. I still sin. I still have problems. But Jesus is working that through His Holy Spirit. Like He says, He is the moulder and I am the clay. So he's working with me, you know, in my spirit of all the world that has given me, the mindset I used to have, the things that I used to say, the way I talked, how I looked at people. You know, I thought I was righteous more than anybody. You know, isn't that sad? You know, a lot of Christians think that they're more righteous because they go to churches or they're in a higher calling. And yet, you know, the Lord has taught me that that's not the case. It’s those that are in intimacy with him that he calls. You know, we have to do it every day. If we want Him, we have to do what He's calling us to do. That his will be done in us. But first, He has to mold us into that and He has to shape us into what he's calling us to do.

So, as of right now, I am just a worker at Schwans, and I love everybody that I work with. There's such beautiful people there, every single one of them. And they're teaching me how to be a Christian. Cuz I believe a lot of Christians have shown hate towards others. And it's not right, because that just pulls people away from Jesus Christ. So, the Lord is teaching me since I been saved. I've been saved since 2017. And through those years, all these years, He has put me through a lot of trials, a lot of testings, a lot of battlegrounds, even in my marriage. Let me tell you, in my family and old friends I used to hang out with and co-workers and just everybody, you know, the world is just crazy right now.

A lot of people are hating Christians because of Who they stand for. But that's because some people out there are leading people to hate Christ. But I'm telling you right now, yes, He hates sin. He does hate sin, but he loves the sinner. He met me where I was back in 2017 when I was sitting on a couch smoking a meth pipe. Okay? And His Holy Spirit entered me and changed me from that day on. And I'd never been the same since. And even though those things try to come back because believe me, the devil is like a roaring lion seeking about who he will devour. And don't don't get me wrong, he tries to come back and tries to be like, "Hey, you know, why don't you do this? Why don't you, why don't you go, you know, do things the Lord has not called me to do. He's called me out of things and I just go run to the Lord. I always run to Jesus and He always saves me from every single time the enemy tries to tempt me and I can't thank Him enough. I'm just in awe in everything that He does in my life.

Now I know you guys see me in these clothes right now. But these clothes are very dear to me because of how this beautiful woman and father Ezekiel, Mother Claire have saved my life. They got me to know Jesus in an intimate relationship with him. Nothing sexual, just the intimacy with Him. Meaning His heart I am drawn to everything about Him.

I have conversations with Him. I hear his voice. I feel His touch when He touches me. I feel His spirit, you know. When I worship Him, he's so heavy. He loves to be worshiped too. He brings me joy when I am down when I'm feeling and any depression, you know or life gets me down or I'm worried about something with my children or my husband or the people I work with you know or just anything you know even bad days with me like there's times where I'm you know like Lord I just can't do this anymore, I need your strength, I need your help. Please Jesus help me and He's like okay and so what He does He either draws me to reading the word or reading some type of holy book or He'll read help me to worship him but most of the part I love to worship Him because He really just cleanses me from my head to my toes and cleanses all of that that I've had in me that the world has, you know, put on me cuz you know Uh sometimes the world gets too heavy sometimes and we need to be revived by the spirit of God. So I just wanted to say that and I used, I am and always will be Mother Joy. That's what they called me.

I'm not going to go in detail of who I am as far as what the Lord has called me to. But this, this here, this habit, you know, this cross, this is who God has put in my path. And I can't thank Him for that cuz I'm not worthy of it. There's many more people out there that are more, more worthy of me more worthy than what the Lord has called me to. But the Lord says He doesn't call the righteous. He calls the sinner. And I can't thank Him enough for what He has done for me. I've seen things in the spirit that I know the devil is real because I heard Him and I've seen Him in many forms. I know demons are real. I know Jesus is real. I know Holy Spirit is real. But I want to tell you something else as well. Like Mother Mary, I love her. I love Mother Mary and she has helped me so much in my walk to get to know her Son because she was the first human being that gave her life totally for the Lord. She was raised and born to follow Jesus Christ. I mean, she even carried Jesus in her womb. And so, she had to forsake her life, everything just for Jesus Christ. And as I got to know her, not through churches, through what the Lord has helped me, through Heart Dwellers and their ministry and the books I've read about her. It's truly amazing what she's given up. And I respect her and I love her and she is a mother to me and I pray one day she'll be a mother to you because she loves you and she wants you saved.

Now there is aspects out there about Mother Mary that other people follow which make her a deity but Mother Mary, the true Mother Mary, Jesus Christ's mother she has no part in that to play for the devil is a copycat and he copies everything that Jesus does everything. So that mother Mary that is a goddess is not of mother Mary who is Jesus Christ's mother. All she wants is her son to be worshiped. She doesn't want any worship. She doesn't want anything for herself. All she does is for her Son. That's the one I follow. And like people say, "Well, what about the saints?" From what I know and what I'm learning, because I don't know everything yet, the Lord is teaching me things in the spirit and he's also teaching me things about saints as well. But you know when people die and like say my mother died and my father has died. I know they are in heaven with the Lord because the Lord has told me and at first I was scared like maybe they're not with Him you know, but the Lord is merciful and He saved him. I mean my dad was the first one born. He was first born through the Holy Spirit. It's a long story on that one. And then my dad showed me the love of Christ through my family and that's how I wanted to know about Him.

And then my mother got saved. And I can tell you her’s cuz its pretty short. But she was so mad at my dad that she that he loved Jesus more. And so what she did, you know, she was so jealous of Jesus that she I remember we're in Junction City and she sat down and she had the Bible and she read that Bible from front to back. She didn't stop reading. She read it from front to back. And I remember as a kid cuz I was sleeping on the floor because we didn't have a bed. We didn't have a bed. I think we just moved in and all of a sudden I seen her.

I looked at her. I was like, "What is going on? Is she nuts?" But she jumped up out of that recliner and she was filled with the Holy Ghost. Fire fell on her from the top of her head to the soles of her feet and she was just crying. I never seen somebody so overjoyed but at the same time like, like on fire. Like, I was like, but it wasn't a fire that um like torment. It was a fire of just freedom. Like she was just so engulfed in this beautiful flame that I couldn't see obviously, but I can feel it. I can sense it. I don't know how to explain it. And she changed from that point on. But as she got more of the world, the Holy Spirit just dwindled.

You know, like they always say, once saved, always saved. That's not true. Because if you're not feeding the spirit, He never leaves you, but He just dwindles down because you're filling yourself with the world, not with Christ. So that was my mother. And then I think three years before she died she had a dream, cuz then I got saved in 2017. She died in 2021 and she said you know well cuz she would listen to all my experiences and the relationship cuz she was afraid of Jesus. She didn't. She feared God. Not in a holy fear, but in a fear of being scared, you know, like, "Oh my God, she's gonna, you know," and I told her about the relationship that I had and experiences I had with Jesus throughout the time she was alive.

And she said to me, you know, um, I would I would like to have those experiences, you know, if He would allow me to have those. And I was like, "Yeah, mama. Of course he would. You know, he loves you and he wants you to come back to him." And so I told her, I didn't have to pray over her or anything. I told her, I said, "Why don't you ask Jesus yourself and watch what he'll do?" And she did. And she started having dreams about the rapture. She started having dreams of what the Lord was showing her to get herself ready. Now, I didn't know that the Lord was going to take her. All I knew was that what she was telling me was that the Lord said as he used me in her dreams say, "You got to get ready. You got to get ready for I'm coming for you soon."

And she thought she was going in the rapture. You know, she didn't think that she was going to pass so soon. But she read her Bible. She had to turn off the TV and just soak in his word. And she prayed a lot because also through people that are the Lord has taught me that a lot of elderly people or the sick, you know, that are in nursing homes, they can pray for people and their prayers are powerful, you know, from those that are in the elderly community that those are in nursing homes. So I told her to do that and she did and the Holy Spirit had led her and got her reborn again. And I remember looking at her before she passed and she said to me, she said, "Baby, I am happy the Lord came into your life. You have truly changed." And she said, "I'm glad you brought me to Jesus." She said, "I feel like I know I have a relationship with Him, an intimate relationship with Him, and I just want to thank you and Mother Claire for helping me to get close to Jesus Christ." And she even told me that she was going to be going leaving soon. And I'm like, like I told my dad, "No, you're not. You still got some time left, you know." But the Lord took her home. But I'm glad, you know, now she's in no more pain, no more suffering, cuz that woman had a lot of suffering. A lot of pain. And that's another story to get into.

And I was even angry at the Lord with that one, my first, of my walk. But oh my gosh, you don't want the Lord to correct you. It is horrible. But when you get tired, you'll start to learn that he truly does it for your good. Conviction is everything. But condemning is another thing that is not from Jesus Christ. But conviction changes you and it molds you. Condemning doesn't. So I just want you to know how beautiful Jesus Christ is. How loving and caring he is. For he doesn't think the way men think. For his ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. And I truly believe that because men will look at you and like, "Oh, you think you're better than everybody.

Oh, you know, well, you don't believe in this denomination, so you're not of Christ. You're the devil." It's like, you know what? Be quiet. I love my Seventh Day Adventist. I love my Southern Baptists. I love my Christians. I love my Catholics. I love my Presbyterians. I love I love them all. Anyone who loves Jesus and follows him in the calling that the Lord has called them to, I love them. And for those that don't, that are still stumbling and that are still needing to be saved, I am praying for them. I am not judging them because I was once there. I was into those type of angel cards and you know exploring things that were in like not sorcery but it was more of you know like talking to, what's it called?

Um uh Lord, what is that name of those people that you know people? Oh yeah, thank you Lord. Psychics, you know, I would do things like that. I mean, I wasn't really deep into it because Lord was like, "Oh God, stop it." But believe me, I open some doors, okay? You know, I did those type of things. And I used to watch paranormal activities, all types of scary movies. I used to listen to freaking music that would literally blind me. Like my eye gate, my ear gate, my mouth gate. You know those things have portals. The music you listen to, the things that you watch, you know, they do have doors. And so that also took some time of me getting out of those things. So I ain't even judging nobody that does that right now. So don't get me wrong.

I'm just saying from my experience, you know, I have been also held down by demons, you know, and I called out to Jesus and he saved me in that time. I wasn't saved yet, but he took I mean that demon was on top of me. I couldn't speak, sleep Thank you, Lord. Sleep paralysis is what he calls it. Sleep paralysis where the demon tries to smother you, tries to enter you and Jesus like, "No, you will not touch my daughter." You know, I've had dreams about that. Ever since I was a kid, I had paranormal things happen to me when I was a kid. I mean, I like I said, I can write a book. I'm just saying. But no, I don't want to get into that right now. All I just want to say is that the Lord has saved me from much. So much. And He can save you, too. You're not too far gone to know Jesus Christ. And I know always somebody says, "Well, you know, I heard the saying, Jesus died for your sins. He was nailed to the cross." Blah blah blah blah. And I I used to have that saying. I'm like, I hear that all the time. Just stop. I don't I don't want to hear it. But I love to hear it now. And the risk for every man, every sinner, just to know him.

He gives you so much that the world cannot give you. No man nor woman nor child. He's the only one that can fill that space cuz everybody else will let you down. Jesus will never let you down. And I'm just like, dang, Lord. Wow. You really died for us. Truly died for me and my sins. I don't deserve you that He says you do. And yeah, I just just want to say that and he's coming soon. I don't know men, but I know Jesus people can feel him coming. And so, everybody that I met in my entire life, I am praying for you. Praying for your families. I'm praying for your children.

And the Lord, he would do all he can to get you ready and prepare for what is going to come. And I pray for many of you, you will not see that day that you will see the rapture. That you'll be coming home with those that are going in the rapture. Now, he's told me I'm going in the rapture. Not to say that I wouldn't if I don't keep following him. That's a different story. So, I try my best every day to be with the Lord and what he's called me to. And I can't thank him enough for helping me get there. I give him all the glory cuz it's not my doing. It's the spirit that dwells in me, Holy Spirit. And the help of heaven that gets me to do everything the Lord has called me to do each and every single day.

So, um, because if it was me, I just sit back, watch some movies, you know, eat and, you know, play games or whatever, but none of that stuff does anything for me anymore. I like to spend time with my children and my husband, and I like to go to work because work is fun. I take care of my family with that. But the people that I work with, even though we have bad days, I still love them. They make it fun for me to go to work. So, I just want to say to all the Schwans people that work the PM shift, thank you very much for all your kindness and all your love. You have taught me to become a better Christian and not to judge. So, I just want to say I love you and I am praying for all of you and thank you for having me a part of the Shaw's family. Wow, you guys are amazing. So, yeah. So, see you later. I'm going to go back and spend some more time with the Lord. But I just want to say I love you. Thank you. And may the Lord bless you and keep you. May his face shine upon you in Jesus name. The blood of Jesus on you and your families. We're praying for you later.

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