Many of You Seek Me, But You Do Not Trust Me

April 8, 2025

Hello Brothers, Sisters, and Heartdwellers family. I have been in a pit, for sure. I came to the US because I had to have a procedure done. With this procedure, they gave me two options. One seemed a bit distressful, but would have the easiest outcome if everything went well. The other was easy in the beginning, but the recovery would be a bit more difficult. I had gone to the Lord about it, and using Bible Promises, He told me to go with the first option, although it seems distressful to me. The doctors said the recovery was very easy. However, I had no peace about it and disregarded it. Then I spoke with Mother Clare. She too confirmed that I should go in that direction, but I told her, “Well, you taught us, if we don’t have peace in our gut, go with our gut feeling”. And Mother resigned to what I said.   

The closer the time came, the more peace I had about the decision I made. Again, the decision I made—boy, has it been a doozy because of it.    When I got home, I faced so many difficulties now because of the procedure, also the pain. I kept getting Rhemas about “God's correction.” I thought, “Again, Lord, what did I do now?” I really felt like I needed a break, but He gave it to me twice. Then I received another Rhema a few days later that said;

Seek me. You seek me, but you don’t trust me, so you go off in your own way.

I got that also twice in a week, as I wondered, “Lord, what could You be talking about? I discerned everything. It didnt hit me until later that evening, as I thought, “Could it be the procedure?” I went to Bible Promises and, sure enough, amidst all my pain and now newfound health complications I am facing, I realized that I made the wrong choice. Jesus had shown me His will, but I went my own way. Wow….

So that following morning, I felt Jesus wanted to speak to me. As I came before Him, Jesus, I feel like a fool. I didnt know I was that mistrusting of You. The truth is, I was shaky with my discernment at that time and truly didnt trust it at all, even when Mother Clare suggested it. I should have known that it was You. I am so very sorry.

Jesus began,

“Oh, Beloved, I am rather sorry for you, all the suffering you have had to go through and will go through until you are healed because of it. However, you know I use everything for your good I have already made provision for this wrong turn, and that is why I don’t want you to feel insecure concerning your strength and the grace to endure and persevere through this trial until healing comes. I have already made provision ready.

“I wanted to make you a testimony that nothing is impossible with me concerning this procedure, that is why I prompted one of the intercessors to send    you that book. You dismissed it because you were so sure of what you wanted, because you feared the other option, and you didnt trust where I was leading you.”

I am sorry, Lord. As I mentioned earlier, I felt a sure peace about it.

“You felt a sure peace about your own will, not mine. And the peace came with you siding with unbelief and going with someone more comfortable for the moment, not knowing the consequences of that later.

“Which you and many of My brides do. They forgo my instructions for something more comfortable for them in that moment, not realizing My will, although it seems difficult at times, will bring you to the best ending and greatest peace.

Wow! I hate that I missed out on that because of my foolishness. And. I wasn’t able to catch what it was you were trying to tell me. The decision I made was a big decision and costly too, still paying for it.

“But since you are my brides, the payoff is always great because of the price you are paying for this correction, and the cross, many are reaping the fruits of it, and many souls are coming to Me in the process as you continue to offer every suffering that comes your way. Thank you for finally surrendering to My will and laying down the anxieties and fears you were being bombarde with by beguiling spirits to cripple and paryalze you with so much fear and depression.  I will bring healing in My timing. In the meantime, I will give you abundant grace that will be sufficient for you to do what is necessary and to continue to pray and come to Me, Beloved. I want you to rest when you can, but try not to neglect time with Me. It’s there you will find strength for the day and for what is ahead of you.

“My beloved brides, many of you seek Me out, but do not trust Me fully. You blame it on not trusting your discernment, but the truth is, you really don’t trust Me. You don’t trust that I speak to you, that I am counselling you, that what I say to you is true, or what you hear, and you definitely do not fully believe what you receive. So, you get confirmation or word, you still walk away feeling unsure or wobbly, you ask Me to make it more clear to you, but I don’t, and the reason is I am growing you in maturity.

“You should know My heart, My character, and My ways by now, Beloved, especially the ways in which I talk to you. You know I have confirmed it, but your unbelief, your insecurity, and your uncertainty lead you to go your own way. You will find a false sense of peace because My will seems a bit more uncomfortable, too difficult, or, if we can be honest, you just don’t want to do it. So, you make excuses and justifications and take the road more traveled, which is your will which always leads to greater suffering than intended, but I allow you to pass through it because you learn, you grow, and it is a great lesson in humility and obedience, so that next time when you see Me, You seek Me for Me. And what I give you, you receive and take, having full confidence that I am leading you and that if you are in error, you will be redirected.

“I gave you so many hints, My beloved, throughout, but you didn't catch them and equated the rhemas the convictions to something else. Satan was right there to ensure that you got his way, instead of just to cause greater affliction. But this, too, shall pass. Continue to offer every pain and inconvenience to Me for the salvation of souls, and no longer listen to his taunts or torments. Rather, I want to hear praise and thanksgiving from your lips for what I have done, what we have accomplished, Beloved, and this new chapter of your life.   Go now, be stead, be faithful, and believe, Beloved, believe all that I have given you. Your discernment has not been wrong or off. Just keep your eyes fixed on Me. And when you seek Me out, be sure that I am already there waiting for you to answer you and to help you.”

That was the end of Jesus' message.

Oh boy, family, I really messed up this time. What’s crazy is that I had a spiritual warfare attack after coming back home from the procedure. I was being held down in sleep paralysis. Then someone had me upside down as if I was doing a headstand and holding my legs. I commanded them to release me in Jesus' name, and I fell back in my body. Then I began to have all the complications in my legs. So, please pray for my health and healing, it's been a real trial for sure.

Also, our donations are low for our ministry needs. I am so grateful for the many who have responded to the sponsor a child and family program. It has blessed the lives of all the children and families involved.

We have some exciting news! We have finally been able to drill our first borehole on the City of God land, and we found water, not only that, but clean water; praise God! We are still in need now of provisions to purchase two generators, which are needed to pump the water. The cost is very expensive, 10,000 dollars each. I will try to do a video soon, updating you on what's been going on in the missionary house and the needs there. Thanks, family. God bless you. And thank you for faithfully staying with us.

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