My Beloved Chooses Futile Things Instead of Me

July 4, 2025

Hello, brothers, sisters, and Heartdwellers family. So, I got in the doghouse, you know, when I mentioned I have been preparing for my trip to Ghana, that called for some purchases that I needed to prepare, now returning with a baby. The Lord gave the green light to make the purchases necessary and to have things shipped to Ghana upon our arrival. Toward the end of my purchase, I got a check in Bible Promises (BP) to not purchase any more items. I thought, okay.  Then, a few weeks later, I realized my suitcase was completely broken, so I needed to get a new one and got the go-ahead on that. However, there were some things I saw that I thought baby girl could use; two dresses, one for the dedication ceremony at the church, and her One-year birthday. Things can be very expensive in Ghana, and I thought it would be best to get them now. I also needed some new undergarments, so I bought some. They were cheap items. To be honest, when I was about to hit checkout, I completely lost my peace, but I looked at my cart and thought it couldn’t be my purchases, these things are necessary. I went to The BP and I didn’t get a “No”, but not a strong “Yes” either. So, I continued with my purchases.

A few days later, my days had gotten busy, so I had not gotten a chance to sit with Jesus for a message. I would catch myself saying, “Man, I miss Jesus.” Then, about the third day, I said it again as I thought to myself, “Why do I keep saying that I have such a longing for Him as if He’s not around, but I know He is”, and I kept going about my day. That evening, I felt prompted to get a Rhema message because my Rhemas were not making sense, and I just felt off.

The title of the message I pulled up was “Disobedience brings sorrow”. I gulped as I thought, “Oh no, what have I done?” When I read the message, it was about Mother Clare making some purchases that were not pleasing to the Lord, and because of it, He distanced Himself. Immediately, I felt the conviction from the other day, and I realized that is why I have felt a longing for Him, because I had distanced myself by my actions. Even then, I tried to justify it by saying in my heart Lord, it was just three things. But immediately repented and apologized over and over again. The following morning, I made a conscious effort to sit with Him and accept the silence, asking for forgiveness again and to help me with my black panther, as Mother Clare would say. For those new to the channel, the black panther is a compulsive, addictive behavior that is habit-forming that God wants to break.

Also, that morning, my niece came over, and I had asked if she wanted to do the Lord’s Supper. She asked me if she had to.   I told her no, surprised by her response, and asked what she was doing. She said she wanted to watch ASMR on her phone to sleep. I thought, really? I said okay and let her go, but I felt a pain in my heart. She used to love doing the Lord’s Supper with me and the things of God. But she has turned eleven and is always on her phone now. So, I was very disappointed. As I continued my Lord’s Supper, my heart continued to hurt and grieve as I felt the Lord’s grief with her choosing her phone over the Lord. Something so futile compared to being with Jesus, and immediately, the Lord led me to know, “You see, sometimes you do the same thing”.

He began speaking

Jesus, what’s on your heart?    I feel so confused

“All that you’re feeling and going through are consequences of your self-love and disobedience that have wounded Me, Beloved.”

I am sorry, Lord, sincerely. No wonder I kept feeling a longing for you as though you were distant, but I realized after getting that rhema    message I had distance myself because of my sin, and what’s crazy is, I asked to be more sensitive to Holy Spirit and when He was nudging me that I was going in the wrong direction, I didn’t listen.

“So, then, Beloved, endure under the yoke of this suffering and offer it to Me, knowing that My Mercy has covered your sins, rather than My justice.”

I’m sincerely sorry, Lord. Help me to please do better.

“I will, Beloved, and I already am. I’m glad you have been sensitive to the grief I just felt when this little one chose her phone rather than being with Me. You felt a keen sense of disappointment and pain that she would choose something that futile than receiving all that I had in store for her by being in My presence and doing the Lord’s supper. You were tempted to get even frustrated and critical of her decision, yet you see, you do the very same thing.

“When you choose the world’s distractions, your phone, conversations, and even ministry sometimes, rather than sit and be with Me. How many of my brides do that daily? It’s the small foxes that spoil the vine of our love. The things of the world, when you give yourself over to them, become small little holes in your boat, the boat of our love, that begin to cause a leak. All it takes is one leak to sink a ship, to sink our boat of love, and before you know it, the love of the world has taken over.

“So many of My brides and those in My church live that way. They don’t truly walk with Me. I’m just something to do, a devotional, an easy morning routine, an evening devotional, a TV sermon, a journal entry, but not a real person, a real relationship that they walk with daily from moment to moment. I desire that we start your days together, leading you and counselling you on what to do that day, and when you step out, going with you. Being conscious of My presence and sensitive to My voice if I desire to give someone a word or use you as an instrument of charity or prayer, or mercy, you are available and open to that, My brides. That you lean on Me for every decision and every purchase, by the way, My little one (He said smiling)”

Yes Lord

“Not only is your life not your own, but your time, your resources, your gifts, your money, nothing is yours but all things you have are from Me and given back to Me to use at My disposal.”

Lord, but now as a mom, and when my day is taken up by unexpected things or having to take care of the little one, when I want to pray and be with you, I feel so guilty throughout the day.

“Well, the guilt you feel, Beloved, is because you haven’t gone to confession. That is why confession is so important, especially in your state, Beloved. There are hidden sins and sins I have made known to you. I am pleased when you repent and confess them to Me, but there is a grace you receive when you go to confession, and only administered by the priest who sits in My stead. A burden will be lifted and your slate wiped away clean. Also, move forward with the instructions I have already given to you that have not been completed yet. Be determined as you usually are, concerning My instructions, to the best of your ability, and I will make all the rest clear to you soon enough.”

As an aside, confession is done in the Catholic Church or can be done by Heartdwellers Priests, or Bishops. I have a playlist of where you can learn more about confession. Or, if you want confession email us at heartdwellersghana@gmail.com

Okay, Lord, thank You.

“So, go now, My beloved doves. Let Me be the first person you greet in the morning, the person you talk to and walk with through the day, and the last person you speak to at night as we do life together.”

That was the end of Jesus’ message.

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