My Journal Day 3

June 5, 2025

Hello dear family, the Lord called me into solitude, fasting, and silence for 21 days. In this post, I am sharing my daily Journal.

This is my 3rd day.

This morning is tough, my body has noticed it had been denied its right to regular nourishment, so it has started messing up with me. But I find strength in Paul’s words, "But I discipline my body and keep it under control". My spirit is strong, so I continue, by God's grace, to soldier on. The secret is, I am taking an hour at a time.

Mother Faustina shares, in her Diary, that “Every hour is different and has its own graces"

The Stillness and silence are proving to be good for my Spirit. I now can see I needed this. Since the time we were called into Ghana as missionaries, it has been a roller coaster. I have not had time for deep reflection about my soul. I Have noticed I really don't take time to know my soul.

Every morning, at 6 am, I exit the prayer room here at the Mission House, after my night Vigil, refresh myself, and enter my daytime room where I remain in Solitude and silence. This morning, I read the Bible for about 45 minutes and then rested. Presently I’m reading the Gospels. It’s not easy to sleep on an empty stomach.

Late this morning, I continued my meditations on the Diary of Faustina. Mother Faustina can make you wonder whether you really deserve to get a place in heaven in the company of saints. She deeply sought the Lord. She was truly in love with Jesus and had a very intimate relationship with Blessed Mother. She calls her sufferings "Trials of Love". Lord have mercy on us.

This morning, I was really convicted, in my heart, as she spoke about Silence and the tongue. Practicing silence and control of the Tongue in daily life. For modern believers, it's a challenge because of our self-will. By the way, I pulled a Rhema stating;

"Pride justifies Self-will".

Anyway, this is what she said;

 Diary # 118-119

"I have seen many souls in the depths of hell for not having kept their silence; they told me so themselves when I asked them what was the cause of their undoing. These were souls of religious. My God, what an agony it is to think that not only might they have been in heaven, but they might even have become saints! O Jesus, have mercy!

“I tremble to think that I have to give an account of my tongue. There is life, but there is also death in the tongue. Sometimes we kill with the tongue: we commit real murders. And we are still to regard that as a small thing? I truly do not understand such consciences. I have known a person who, when she learned from someone that a certain thing was being said about her, fell seriously ill. She lost a good deal of blood and shed many tears, and the outcome was very sad. It was not the sword that did all this, but the tongue. O my silent Jesus, have mercy on us!"

Reading this, I went into repentance and sought the mercy of the Lord for careless words I have spoken that have harmed other souls. We do this, especially within the family. I repented for those who have hurt me with their words and asked the Lord to heal us.

The Bible also cautions us about our tongues. Listen to what the Holy Spirit says;

"And so, the tongue is a small part of the body yet it carries great power! Just think of how a small flame can set a huge forest ablaze. And the tongue is a fire! It can be compared to the sum total of wickedness and is the most dangerous part of our human body. It corrupts the entire body and is a hellish flame! It releases a fire that can burn throughout the course of human existence. For every wild animal on earth including birds, creeping reptiles, and creatures of the sea and land have all been overpowered and tamed by humans, but the tongue is not able to be tamed. It’s a fickle, unrestrained evil that spews out words full of toxic poison! We use our tongue to praise God our Father and then turn around and curse a person who was made in his very image! Out of the same mouth, we pour out words of praise one minute and curses the next. My brothers and sister, this should never be! "(James 3:6-11|

Many marriages, families, relationships, businesses, ministries, and even communities and nations have been destroyed because of the tongue. What has saddened my heart is, many a time, in very crucial moments, out of frustrations I have used my tongue against myself; speaking words upon myself that have opened doors for the enemy to afflict me and limit the grace of God. Simple words like, “I can't do this", "I am fed up", “I am leaving, "Do whatever you please", "I don't care", "They can take it if they want", My life is useless". (Does this sound familiar, guys?). I desire my tongue to only bless and not harm. Jesus, bless my tongue with gracious speech. Place your bridle on my tongue.

There was a time when Mother Faustina was undergoing intense persecution from within the convent. She shares a difficult experience, and you will be surprised with Jesus’ reaction, 

She begins,

 Diary # 128-129

"One day, one of the Mothers.... poured out so much of her anger on me and humiliated me so much that I thought I would not be able to endure it. She said to me, ‘You queer, hysterical visionary, get out of this room; go on with you, Sister!’ "She continued to pour out upon my head everything she could think of. When I got to my cell, I fell on my face before the cross, and then looked at Jesus; but I could no longer say a single word. Yet I concealed everything from the others and pretended that nothing had happened between us.

Satan always takes advantage of such moments; thoughts of discouragement began to rise to the surface; ‘For your faithfulness and sincerity, this is your reward? How can one be sincere when one is so misunderstood? Jesus, Jesus, I cannot go on any longer.’ Again, I fell to the ground under this weight, and I broke out in a sweat, and fear began to overcome me. I had no one to lean on interiorly. Suddenly I heard a voice within my soul, ‘Do not fear; I am with you,’ and an unusual light illumined my mind, and I understood that I should not give in to such sorrows. I was filled with a certain strength and left my cell with new courage to suffer." 

Family, can you imagine what Jesus said? Jesus just told her, “Do not fear, I am with you”. That’s all the Lord said, guys.

Family, all trials Jesus allows, the enemy cannot attack us without the Lord’s permission. I am a strong believer in the Sovereignty of God, and I must now learn to see His hand in everything even the most insignificant events. 

Right now, in my walk with the Lord, it is important I understand this so that I don't lose the graces of the moment.

Jesus is convicting my heart to really learn to lean on God's grace to help me to abandon myself to what he is doing moment by moment because that is His will for me even if it is unpleasant. Even if there are inconveniences, disappointments, offenses, and contradictions. 

Jesus wants me to truly live the Gospel. Jesus’ Spirit must truly become visible in my life, especially to the most intimate people in my life. Believers were first called Christians in Antioch because they behaved like Jesus. People saw Jesus in them. Jesus is demanding Saint Paul's words to be alive in me; "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Yes, Jesus I am desperate, I am a desperate, miserable soul in your eyes. But I believe these words, that when I accepted You as my Savior and was baptized, I was crucified on the cross and it is You who now lives in me. Jesus, Thy will be done in me.

Jesus, you are demanding a more authentic Christian walk.

 Blessed Mother, you truly lived an authentic life before God from the time you said, "Behold, the Lord's handmaid. May it happen to me according to your word." Blessed Mother, pray for me and help me.

Family, these have been my thoughts and meditations for the day. Until next time.

May the grace of the Lord keep us.

1226. My Journal Day 3 - Posted June 5, 2025.docx

Download DOCX • 62KB