The Biggest Obstacle To Faithfulness Is Doubt

July 30, 2025

Hello, Brothers, Sisters, and Heartdwellers family. I have been really struggling to hear from the Lord. That is why the messages haven’t been consistent. Then I pulled a rhema two days ago about waiting on the Lord when He is silent. So, I found myself going through my Lord’s Supper not expecting Him to speak to me. Last night I had my adoration time and used In Sins Jesu.

The readings were about the importance of hearing His voice and His wanting to speak to me out of the friendship of his heart; that He always wants to speak if we would listen. However, I had too much on my mind and didn’t press in. I had received two messages this week that I thought were from Him, but each message I stopped halfway, doubting it was the Lord. When I discerned, it didn’t seem like is was and I just never went back to it. This morning, I was a bit anxious because I realized that I needed to sit and try to hear from him amidst my doubts again.

During worship, He played a song by Hilary Weeks called, Even When. The lyrics go…

The Father sent his Son

To show the way and I try to follow

There are times I run, there are times I have to walk and some days I don't move at all

I know I must let Him down when he sees

I'm not as far as I could be

But He loves me still

He loves me through

He loves me even while even when

He loves me anyway in spite of and more than

When I slip, when I fall

When I'm weak and I let go

Even when I should hold on

He loves me still, He loves me still

And something tells me

He always will

You say you can relate

Sometimes you feel the same

You’re not where you want to be

The fear makes you doubt

And the doubt holds you back and

now you're holding back your heart

I've walked in those shoes

Been down that road

I felt His grace and I know

(Then it was back to the chorus)

He loves me through, He loves me while, even when.

I found myself actually a bit resentful. (I am a hot mess) Because I know there is much the Lord has called me to do that I haven’t even done yet, and so frustrated with the little I try to do that always gets opposition.  With juggling my research for the AI venture for the channel, and the little one, it has been hard finding time to do this. I’m feeling like I am getting nowhere. So, I have been feeling like just giving up on it. Then a beautiful piano worship instrumental played during prayer, and I thought, Wow, if I had really learned how to play my piano. That alone has been an ongoing battle of interest for six years—to learn how to play that thing. Lord, forgive me. When I think about it, I have let him down and I could be so farther than I am now.

So, I went ahead and began my Lord’s Supper, and this was my gospel reading. I thought, “Geeze, if the message isn’t any clearer”.

Luke 12: 32-48

³² “Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. ³³ Sell your possessions and give alms. Make purses for yourselves that do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near, and no moth destroys. ³⁴ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

³⁵ “Be dressed for action and have your lamps lit; ³⁶ be like those who are waiting for their master to return from the wedding banquet, so that they may open the door for him as soon as he comes and knocks. ³⁷ Blessed are those slaves whom the master finds alert when he comes; truly I tell you, he will fasten his belt and have them sit down to eat, and he will come and serve them. ³⁸ If he comes during the middle of the night, or near dawn, and finds them so, blessed are those slaves.

³⁹ “But know this: if the owner of the house had known at what hour the thief was coming, he would not have let his house be broken into. ⁴⁰ You also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an unexpected hour.”

⁴¹ Peter said, “Lord, are you telling this parable for us or for everyone?” ⁴² And the Lord said, “Who then is the faithful and prudent manager whom his master will put in charge of his slaves, to give them their allowance of food at the proper time? ⁴³ Blessed is that slave whom his master will find at work when he arrives. ⁴⁴ Truly I tell you, he will put that one in charge of all his possessions. ⁴⁵ But if that slave says to himself, ‘My master is delayed in coming,’ and if he begins to beat the other slaves, men and women, and to eat and drink and get drunk, ⁴⁶ the master of that slave will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour that he does not know, and will cut him in pieces, and put him with the unfaithful. ⁴⁷ That slave who knew what his master wanted, but did not prepare himself or do what was wanted, will receive a severe beating. ⁴⁸ But the one who did not know and did what deserved a beating will receive a light beating. From everyone to whom much has been given, much will be required; and from the one to whom much has been entrusted, even more will be demanded.

Aw   man! Once I put my pride aside, I realized I could easily be that servant who is beaten severely. Much has been given to me, and much has not been done with the graces I have been given. I felt   repentant and contrite after sitting with myself for a while and was asking the Lord to forgive me and help me to trust Him more and stop doubting. Him.

So, upon receiving Him, I mustered up the courage to come again to hear His voice.

Jesus, what’s on your heart? I heard,

“You have waited, and I have come.”

 I felt it was Jesus. I just had read a passage from Imitation of Mary, and somehow longed to talk to Blessed Mother. It had been so long.

Then I said, I really miss blessed Mother. It’s been such a long time since I have spoken to her

Then I felt a warm smile, like I envisioned Jesus and Blessed Mother, Our Mother of Mercy, standing side by side. Jesus smiled at her, and she smiled at him. Then he nudged her with his shoulder to speak to me. They are so cute.

I then hear very clearly,

“Yes, it’s doubt that continues to get in the way, My beloved daughter. You have asked for Me, so I have come. I have always been with you—never far, My beloved daughter, it is you who has stopped coming.”

Our Mother Mercy was speaking,

Very true, I am sorry, Mama. I am at a vulnerable place for sure, and I feel drawn to you more and more to give you my burdens and seek your intercession.

Our Mother of Mercy began,

“It is Jesus who has prompted you to do so. You know it pleases Him very much when you come, and you rest your head on both of our sacred hearts and entrust your cares to me. I will take care of each of them. Now give Me your worry and your doubt too.”

Okay, Mama, here is my worry and doubt too.

“And now proclaim your trust in the Lord just as you were instructed to do in your penance for confession.”

I took a deep breath, “Jesus, I trust in You; Jesus, I trust in You; Jesus, I trust in You.”

“Be at peace, My little one, be at peace.”                                           

Mother, I fear I have been that servant who may be beaten severely, knowing the Lord’s will, but haven’t done it. I know I have failed the Lord so many times and have been given so many graces, and am not at all where I should be.    The song really got to me this morning.

“Rather, it caused you to cower in shame and resentment, than in abject humility and hearing God’s love for you”

Yes, it’s true, but it just shows my pride. This is the true state of my nature, Mom. So humbling, I accept it and ask for your help to please help me to do better with the little time we have, and the graces given to me.

“My daughter, we are always pleased with your quick turnaround to embrace your weakness, your failures, and your nothingness. When you see it, that is when more graces are able to be poured out—when you see your true lowliness and don’t run from it, but rather turn to Us. Grace and Mercy will always meet you, beloved little one.

“We know the immense opposition that comes against the Lord’s faithful servants. So no, you will not be beaten severely, but Satan would love to beat you down with lies and thoughts of your failures and cause you to give up rather. But not. You know what to do, so do whatever is in your ability to do, and the Lord will cover the rest. Again, you must be intentional about your time, now as a Mother. You do not have the freedom to give yourself wiggle room or a moment of leisure respite unless allowed by the Lord, or time will escape you, and it will be difficult to get things done. When I mothered Jesus, even my time was the Lord’s and I was industrious, making sure I used every bit of time I had unto God. Do not resent the moments you have and will have when your days are taken up by caring for your little one. She, too, is a ministry all on her own. She needs your attention and care. But now that you have help, use the time wisely to be faithful to the Lord.

“My beloved dear ones, truly you do not know the day and the hour in which your bridegroom will come. It can be any moment from now, My beloved children. Yes, many of you have obstacles, upon obstacles, that hinder or oppose you from moving forward in God’s will. But may I say, the biggest obstacle is your doubt. You doubt yourself; you doubt his instruction, you doubt the grace he has given you to do it, so you do nothing and get wrapped in a circle wheel of worldly distractions, or even good distractions, but are distractions nonetheless, and never accomplish all that he has purposed and graced you to do. My beloved brides, I do not want you to stand before your beloved ashamed because there is so much more you could have done for Him.

“You do not know where to start? Start somewhere. Begin, and His grace will come in and help you accomplish the rest. Just like this little one, many of you need a push. You start, then you stop, and some of you just sit there in idle mode, frustrated and given in to defeat rather than being determined as you usually are. Be determined, My children, be determined. No matter what may come, do not give up and pursue what you know to do. Do not question. Bend your mind to the yoke of faith.”

And that was the end of Our Mother of Mercy’s message.

Thank you, family. God bless you for your support and your prayers.

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