You Will Not Know How to Father Unless You Allow Yourself to be Fathered

June 15, 2025

Hello Brothers, and Heartdwellers family. May we be sensitive to the burdens the Lord gives us. Fitting that it is Father’s Day, the Lord gave me this message.

There has been an issue between two souls I know, a father and his teenage son. The son seems to slack off in school with his grades, and not take his studies seriously, as his father would desire for him to. His parents have been divorced, and he stays with his mother. The mother is lenient and gives him several allowances, even when the father feels he should be disciplined.

The son began to act out toward his mother. She had had enough and told the son to stay with his father instead. The father and son soon had an altercation when the son didn’t want to go and live with the father and spoke very disrespectfully. The father got very angry and pushed his son. He was irate and demanded his son’s respect, whether he liked him or not.

When the son was alone, he was found crying, hurt by his father’s actions, and not really realizing his actions of disrespect that he also needed to be accountable for.

I was there to witness the altercation and felt great empathy for the son because I had never seen him cry that way. He was really hurt. His father was still very angry and confrontational. I also understood the father because he was very weary and had tried several times, in love, to discipline the son or speak to him. But he didn’t get the outcome that he desired. Tempers were flaring but the situation calmed down.

When I got home, I couldn’t help but feel so grieved. So many men have trauma from their father’s harshness, abandonment, a lack of compassion, or love. They teach their boys not to show emotions; that it is weakness. And a man has to be a man. According to whose standard? I’ve carried a burden on my heart for a while concerning men. Men of this generation, more than anything, have so much internal trauma, and they don’t know how to deal with it. So you have broken boys being fathers when they, themselves didn’t have an example of true love of the father. Or you have men who were not raised or loved by their fathers at all. I realize it's curse. This scripture kept popping in my own head about the days of Elijah when the father’s heart will turn to their children’s will turn back to their fathers.

Malachi, 4:5-6

Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet, before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. He will return the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I strike the earth with a curse.

I came to the Lord with this burden. Jesus, what’s on Your heart?

Jesus began

“That’s why I came to show this truly like character, and nature, and heart of the father. The world had Him all wrong. Humanity saw Him to be different from who He really was. And now I have My brides, souls like you, to show what the Father is really like. That is why your work, My brides, your gifts are so important. It’s an avenue for you to express God’s love to His people. That is why I gave you the reading, Beloved, today. The greatest need of mankind is to feel loved and heard.

“My Father is the best at that. The world and men need to know and feel the Father’s love. I’ve given you the burden and cross to carry, Beloved, to pray for men of this generation to come to know the Father’s love and to be transformed into the likeness of their Father. So they know what it means and what it takes; how to be a true father to a soul, to their children.

“Satan knew this and as he saw and observed very carefully, My intimate relationship with Adam. We spoke face to face. He walked alongside Me in the garden, and with My Father as well. The more He communed with Me, the more understanding of My ways and of My nature he had, which was imprinted on him, concerning how to love and care for the responsibilities that were entrusted to him. After the fall of temptation, that sweet union was not as deep, and not as close. Not because I distanced Myself, but sin distanced us. For it caused the proximity to change. He was riddled with shame and guilt constantly and much regret.

“And when sin birthed murder between Cain and Able, it also birthed enmity between father and son. And so, it began. This tug of war, this fight between father and son, and son and father; or better yet, a father and their children. It continued with Eli, Samuel and his sons, David and his sons, Abraham, and his sons, and so forth. It is a loss of love relationship with Me that causes a man to be hard, harsh, and disparaging toward their children.”

So, I wanted to pull up the scriptures concerning the men He talked about, in the Bible. The first is about Eli.

1. Samuel 2:12-26

Eli’s Wicked Sons

Eli’s sons were scoundrels. They had no regard for the Lord. Now, it was the practice of the priest, that whenever any of the people offered a sacrifice, the priest’s servants would come with a three-pronged fork in his hand, while the meat was being boiled, would plunge the fork into the pan or kettle or caldron or pot; whatever the fork brought up the priest would take for himself. This is how they treated all the Israelites who came to Shiloh. But even before the fat was burned, the priest’s servant would come to say to the person who was sacrificing, “Give the priest some meat to roast, he won’t accept boiled meat from you, but only raw. If the person said to him, “Let the fat be burned first, and then take whatever you want”, the servant would answer, “No, hand it over now. If you don’t, I will take it by force.” The sin of the young men was very great in the Lord’s sight, for they were treating the Lord’s offering with contempt.

Now Eli, who was very old, heard about everything his sons were doing to all of Israel, and how they slept with the women at the entrance to the tent of meetings. So he said to them, “Why do you do such things? I hear from all the people about these wicked deeds of yours. No my sons, the report I hear spreading among the Lord’s people is not good. If one person sins against another, God may mediate for the offender. But if anyone sins against the Lord, who will intercede for them? His sons, however, did not to their father’s rebuke, for it was the Lord’s will to put them to death.

Samuel and His Sons

1 Samuel 8:1-5

When Samuel grew old, he appointed his sons as Israel’s leaders. The name of his firstborn was Joel, the name of the second was Abijah, and they served at Beer-Sheba. But his sons did not follow his ways. They turned aside after dishonest gain and accepted bribes and perverted justice. So all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah. They said, “You’re old and your sons do not follow your ways. Now appoint a king to lead such as all the other nations have.”

Then we have

Absalom’s Rebellion

2 Samuel 15:1-12

After this, Absalom bought a chariot and horses, and he hired fifty bodyguards to run ahead of him. He got up early every morning and went out to the gate of the city. When people brought a case to the king for judgment, Absalom would ask where in Israel they were from.

They would tell him their tribe. Then Absalom would say, “You’ve really got a strong case here. It’s too bad the king doesn’t have anyone to hear it. I wish I were the judge, then everyone could bring their case for me to judge. I would give them justice. When people tried to bow before him, Absalom wouldn’t let them. And so he took them by the hand and kissed them. Absalom did this with everyone who came to the king for judgment. And so he stole the hearts of all the people of Israel. After four years, Absalom said to the king, “Let me go to Hebron to offer a sacrifice to the Lord and fulfill a vow I made to Him while your servant was at Geshur and Aram. I promise to sacrifice to the Lord in Hebron if you should bring me back to Jerusalem. “All right, ”the king told him, “go and fulfill your vow.” So Absalom went to Hebron. But while he was there, he sent secret messengers to all the tribes of Israel to stir up rebellion against the king. “As soon as you hear the ram’s horn,” his message read, “You should say, ‘Absalom has been crowned king in Hebron!’” He took 200 men with him from Jerusalem with him as guests, but they knew nothing of his intentions. While Absalom was offering sacrifice, He sent for Ahithophel one of David’s counselors who lived in Giloh. So, many others also joined Absalom, and the conspiracy gained momentum.

And of course, about Abraham and his son Ishmael…

Jesus continued

“It’s a lack of love and understanding that causes a child to resist the father, coupled with the spirit of rebellion that runs so rampant. Today it is a recipe for disaster, but not one that I cannot fix. This generation, more so than any, has been affected by this curse and assignment. So many children have no father, and fathers losing sight and love for their children. Children raising themselves full of bitterness, resentment, and trauma. Son’s being told to be men but never seeing an example of a good father. And My father is the best at it.

“If men would humble themselves, surrender all to God, the Father, and come into His loving embrace and trade their weakness for strength, many men would be changed and transformed by this union alone, and know what a real father looks like, loves like, disciplines like, and lives like.

“But too many men are broken and too prideful to admit their weaknesses and shortcomings; are taught by society and culture. So they wallow, they whine, they struggle through life trying to carry their burdens alone; pain, and even their own trauma, alone without ever entering into the sweetest place in the Father’s heart, where they can truly call Him Abba, and they become His child.

“But that will soon change, Little One. I have heard the cry of your heart and the cries of many of My brides. These are the days of Elijah where I will restore the love of the father’s heart back to his children and the children back to their fathers.

“Satan has been very clever to use so many avenues and means to emasculate My beloved men and their influence in the lives of their families, of their community, and even of their culture. They are losing their identity as the priests and the authority of God’s voice in the household because they have lost sight of Me.”

Now, God the Father speaks to His sons,

“My beloved sons, that is first, who you are, My child, and you’re dearly loved. Come, enter into the chambers of My heart, where there’s guilt or shame, but, understanding, a listening ear, and mercy upon mercy, grace upon grace, and a love that is endless awaiting you to transform you and heal you from a life weighed down with false lies mixed with truth, fed to you by the enemy concerning who you are and who you are meant to be.

“I, alone know that, and I intend to finish what I have started; bringing you to the expected end, spotless and blameless standing before Me and the Father.

“Come to know the Father, and be healed of all that ails you. I will bring peace between you and your children in time. But let Me heal you first. You will not know how to father unless you allow yourself to be fathered by Me. I am a very good father. I have your best interests at heart.

“Your fathers on earth were mere men, broken and damaged in many ways. Much of their damage has been passed on to you. But there is nothing that I cannot fix. Be patient with your children and do not discipline them so much that they are utterly despondent and discouraged to anger. When I discipline, it is from a place of love. And even then, it is not harshly, not at all at once, or no souls would be able to survive under the wight of My justice. My discipline is always intermingled with My mercy because I take into account your frailty. “So I also want you to take into account your child’s frailty, the influences around him, where he goes and what he does, and the accompany of demons barraging him with evil thought. And take into account any wounds that have been incurred, the ones you may know about, and very well the ones you have no idea about.

“When a child rebels, often times, it comes from a place of pain. Just like when My children rebel and even begin to call your adversary, Satan, their master. Many of them are wounded, rejected, hurt souls who rebel and reject My loe because they have been hurt by someone who was supposed love them. Others yearn for power and honor. Ot it is same for children. Your sons and daughters who begin to rebel. Some have a desire for independence, are strong willed and stubborn. It’s by your loving correction, by you prayers that your children are changed and will unite themselves back to you.

“This is a work of revival I’m doing right now, and even have begun, although cannot be seen. But My Spirit is moving and will be seen by all children returning back to their fathers and their fathers turning back to their children, and families turning back to Me, trusting the Good Shepherd, and in the Good Father.

And that was the end of the message.

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