And a Sword Shall Also Pierce Your Own Heart

A terrible scene I had been seeing lately in my mind concerning my unborn child ─ seeing her being taken, a baby, for a sacrifice somewhere. These thoughts had come to my mind just days ago and kept popping up. I felt it was from the enemy. I knew that this couldn’t ─ be it would be so horrible ─ the Lord wouldn’t allow such a thing.

Then Jesus broke in and said:

“No, this vision is not from Me.”

I was so relieved…

…But then He continued.

“But her life will be one of sacrifice.”

I thought, “What could that mean ─ sickness, disability, or daily sacrifices he has called me to?” I was hoping it wasn’t any of the former. She is not even here yet.

Then Jesus broke through again and began,

“She is called to martyrdom and so is your beloved. They both will be Martyrs for the gospel”

I was stunned. As I began to reason with the Lord, trying to drown out His voice ─ if I can be honest because I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to believe this was him speaking, I reasoned, reminding Him how he didn’t want the Father to share with him the date the bride would be raptured up with him. So, in his mercy, if he could please just not let me know this.

Mark 13:32

But about that day or hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.

It would be too much to carry, knowing this about my unborn child ─ who is not even here yet.

Lord why?

I heard,

“… she has consented to this.”

I asked him, why would you tell me, Lord? Please, I don’t want to know. Why do you feel I must know these things about the future ahead of time? Lord, it’s too much.

I could hear another response,

“I share with you because I love you. So when these things happen you will not be shaken but rather have great peace concerning My will.”

All of this came in the form of thoughts as if I was holding a conversation in my mind, which is what it sounds like when Jesus usually begins talking to me. However, I was still a bit stunned. Although having a deep peace I wanted to believe it wasn’t from Jesus. I went to The Bible Promise Book, and I got “Joy”.

Hmm, this was very sobering. I then had Jahnavi discern for me concerning this and she got “Faith”. She began to remind me of the sword that pierced our Mother’s heart ─ and we are her daughters called to imitate her life. Jesus once told me to stay very close to Blessed Mother, that I should unite myself with Her. I too remember she lost her husband and her only son. She was told by Simeon, the prophet, of what would take place. Although she didn’t exactly yet how, Her son, the Messiah, and Savior, was to be sacrificed.

Behold, this Child is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted and you yourself a sword will pierce so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed” (Lk 2:34-35)

As I thought, how could a mother go on this way, knowing, that one day her child would be no longer? Did she also get anxious every time Jesus stepped out in ministry wondering if today, would be the day ─ would it be the last time she saw him? ─ because it wasn’t made known to her when the Passion of our Lord would take place. But she knew He was born to die. What a cross, what grace it took to carry such a word and knowledge about the child you loved. Now I must do the same…?

It sounds so heroic, she is not here yet ─ and I am not sure if I can do that ─ to look at her little hands, her feet, her cooing, and smiles. Hold her in my arms and know one day she would be asked for by God ─ whether they would be together when it happens or separate. Oh Lord, who could handle such a word such ─ a foreknowledge?

Then Jesus began very clearly,

“My love can. By my grace through you, you can ─ and you will. You are mature enough for Me to trust you with these things, Little one. I know it brings you anxiety now and it is very sobering to know these things but after you have made battle with your doubt and reasoning, have great joy that you both have said, “Yes” to My will ─ that I have anchored you for the life you are called to and that most importantly, from this day forth you will never take a day for granted, the moments you get to spend with your beloved. I know his weaknesses have been a thorn in your side, but he is My gift to you. Every day is a gift from Me to you to be with Him, love him, and cherish him because you do not know how long you will have with him, and the same with your beloved child who is coming to you very soon.

Oh, Your life will be one of great gratitude because I love those I forewarn, and I can trust them with the innermost secrets of My heart. For those who don’t know, I do not love any less, but in all of these things, My Father has mercy on whom He will have mercy and His mercy will continuously be displayed in your life. This is an act of mercy, Beloved.

You will see when the time comes, you will need to be greatly anchored and assured of My peace, My sovereignty, and My will to encourage many that I am good, and I work things out for their good, and will obtain the glory from every sacrifice, from every soul that gives their life unto blood I will be glorified. And your enemies, the enemies of the church will be saved because of it.

“You will be a beacon of forgiveness, firm, strong, and unmoved. You will look in the face of hate and you will meet it with love and forgiveness and teach others how to do the same. My love, be at great peace. That is why I have asked you to be very close to My Mother. She will obtain the grace for you in that hour when the time comes as she has obtained the grace for you to receive this word today. IT has been a long time coming but you are now ready to carry such a word and treasure it in your heart just as she did.

“I am asking you to share this because many others, among My brides will be asked the same thing. And I need them stout-hearted and convinced that I am good, and My will is perfect and will give them the grace to give up their loved ones if asked of them. My love, do not be down or discouraged. Cherish each moment, Beloved, cherish each moment. Do not allow the petty things, arguments, misunderstanding, or straining ourselves on gnats with religious differences to get in the way of your love any longer.”

As he was speaking saw an image of my beloved. He had gone out to ministry and wasn’t here with me at the moment and I felt I just needed to hug him when he came back and tell him how much I appreciated him.

“Yes, Beloved, do that much more often. And in times of difficulty remember this word and don’t allow a breech between you two because in that time when he is no longer here, you will have many memories and moments of how you spent your time together well and how much you cherished each moment. My Mother’s life is a great example for you and will give you great consolation even now.”

Then the thought came to my mind if I could speak to Blessed Mother. How did she cope?

Blessed Mother began speaking,

“My beloved daughter, be at peace, great peace. The Lord does you very much and you continue to find favor with him. That is why His heart is so open to you, Beloved, and why He tells you of things to come.”

I had my head in her lap, and she gently lifted me up and wrapped her arms around me as she spoke in my ear.

“I too, faced the same consequence when the prophecy was given by Simeon. I didn’t have a full understanding of what that would entail, but I heard the words He would be a contradiction, he would cause the rise and fall of many in Israel, and that a sword would pierce my heart. And it did at that moment, but I treasured it as I contemplated what all of that could mean.

Since being raised in the temple I knew all the prophecies concerning the Messiah and I knew he had to suffer, I knew he had to die and be raised up, but I didn’t know how until My Son began to reveal to Me the mystery of redemption in many of our times alone together. He would teach Me and give Me much understanding of what was to come.

Although I knew I didn’t realize the extent of His suffering, the pain was more than I could bear but grace held me together because I had known the Lord’s will and I had submitted to it wholeheartedly. I knew this was much bigger than I, much bigger than the nation of Israel, and much bigger than a mother losing her only child.

There were many moments if not every moment I treasured with Jesus and with St. Joseph. He was a wonderful husband and a wonderful Man. His heart was pure, kind, so selfless, and humble. I was told too about his passing after our betrothal. I knew he wouldn’t be with us long. Again I didn’t know how or when, but I prayed every day that He would fulfill God’s will before the Lord would take him ─ that He would prepare my heart and even that of Jesus for his departure, whenever it came. And it came beautifully as I got to hold him during his last breath and thank the Lord for a gift in a husband, a companion, and a friend like him in my life. A wonderful example he was to all the men in each community we lived in. A wonderful Father he was to Jesus.

“In moments of uncertainty before they were both taken anxious thoughts would hit my heart like any mother or wife, asking the Lord is this it? Is it time? when Joseph would have his spells in sickness and when Jesus began his ministry and the Pharisees and Sadducees looked to kill him, I wondered, is this it?

God, in his goodness, doesn’t tell us everything in detail, and some things we have to carry with grace and trust in him. And that is what I would do, simply declare my trust in the Father, in My son Jesus, and remind myself I said, ‘Yes’ to His will and would say it again, ‘Lord let your will be done.’”

“That will be your mantra, Beloved, in every trial, in every circumstance, in every decision. After you have made peace with your doubts, your reasons, and your own will, you will always say, ‘Lord, let your will be done.’ I will make sure of it because I am Your Mother, the keeper of your Heart, as Jesus has entrusted you to me and all that concerns you. So do not be afraid. Have great peace. Many swords of sorrow will pierce your own heart, but you will be given the grace to endure just as you have now because you have the three sacred hearts dwelling within and that is where your strength has come from. You are stronger than you know, and you are much braver than you know because of Who possesses you, and that goes for all the brides of Christ. Much will be asked of you because you can give much.”

Just then I was reminded of the song called, “Yes Lord”, by Judikay. It had been playing in my mind for the past two days and even when I woke up this morning, I tried to cast it from my mind, fighting it because I knew it was Holy Spirit and You were telling me that I would be asked to surrender something, and I guess this is it.

Hmmm, thank you Mother for your words to me, I am your handmaiden let your will be done according to the word, Jesus I say “Yes.”