Don’t Be Goal Oriented Rather Abandonment Oriented

Hello brothers, sisters, and Heartdwellers family.

I’m sorry I haven’t gotten a message up as I should. I’m still coming out of a nasty cold, and I had fogginess.

The other day I pulled a Rhema message— after not hearing from the Lord—about intimacy with Him. He was speaking to Mother Clare about how we can get to a point that when we are in prayer we aren’t rushing to get out of that time with him to get things done. We are thinking of all the things we have to do and accomplish rather than relishing in the Lord’s presence and just being with him. She said it’s like spending quality time with your spouse but in your head you’re thinking, “I wonder when we will be done with this so I can go and finish my project?” If your spouse heard you say that in your head they would be so hurt. We forget Jesus hears our every thought and how it breaks his heart.

I was so guilty, because the truth is, my prayer time has been so dry and tough, to just get through prayer and still have that overwhelming sense of all the responsibilities and things that need to get done. So, when it’s dry, rather than praying longer as Holy Spirit instructed St. Faustina to do, and Had Jesus do in Gethsemane…I just rather run and do something more exciting. Sorry, I’m just being honest, guys. How many of us are guilty of that?

The scripture is in

Matthew 26:36-42.

36 Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” 37 And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” 39 And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” 40 And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? 41 Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 42 Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.”

So, in the midst of Jesus’ trouble and sorrow, he went away and prayed again, for the second time. He tarried in prayer—and that is what He desires for us all to do, especially when we feel dryness, sorrow, or no connection with Him—still tarry in prayer. May the Lord give us the grace.

I was struggling this morning but despite my lack of connection I still wanted to step out in faith, and I needed to get a word, if not for myself for the flock. So, after receiving the Lord I said,

Jesus, what’s on your heart?

I decided to pull Rhemas because I began to get anxious suggestions and I wasn’t sure if it was from the Lord or not. My Bible Promises were giving me mixed readings, so I decided to get Rhemas from the website. The second was about forgiveness of offenses, and the third was about total surrender—allowing the Lord to cut us up in pieces by wounding us with his love and giving him every piece if he decided to do so. My heart was pained because I was hoping it wasn’t confirming the suggestions I was getting.

I’m confused.

Jesus began,

“Confusion is part of your surrender. It’s a cross, Beloved. Surrender it all to Me, and if I wound you in love, cutting you to pieces, then tell Me every piece is yours. And if I don’t, surrender that too. I want you to stay focused and lay your curiosity down for now. I am faithful to always make things clear—to bring things to the light of my truth in its time, so do not worry yourself. The best thing you can do now is to just pray and receive My peace.”

“It’s in your doubting and anxiety the enemy gets in and begins to magnify things and bring lies and suggestions that many times are not true. The torment continues because of your lack of trust in Me. When you trust Me those attacks against your mind and false projections won’t stick or cause you to waiver in any way. Do not fear, My beloved one, all will be well.”

I stopped and took a deep breath,

Jesus I trust in you, Jesus I trust in you, Jesus I trust in you.

He chimed in…

“..And add, ‘nevertheless, not my will Lord but your will be done’”. I know you are in a stressful and tense situation right now. “That is the right word for it you, you are being cooked under pressure. “

Yes, Lord, I feel like a frog in hot water.

“Well, don’t jump”. [He smiled]

And as an aside, guys, sickness comes with its own crosses—tiredness, exhaustion, short fuse, and temperament, you name it. The devils love to come rushing in when you’re sick because you are the most vulnerable.

Then I have become a new aunty recently and have a newborn at home. It was kind of unexpected and a few times I have had to watch my new nephew as I get a knock on the door during my prayer time to please take the child. How can I get mad as I laugh thinking Lord, I think this is preparation. And now I see how new mothers who are intercessors in our group find it hard to do all their priestly duties and pray too. I did however murmur about the food being gone, and used, that I bought, which is just selfishness on my part. We are truly doing communal living.

Jesus continued,

“I am refining you, Beloved, and all My brides. The tensions of the day will soon cease, and you will feel My grace more and more, to do all that I have asked of you and all that is asked of you. Where you are and all that you are doing is most necessary to prepare you to be able to juggle multiple responsibilities as a mother, (not only a spiritual mother running a community) a wife, and a servant to all. You must be focused, Beloved. Do what you have it in your heart to do but each day I want you to abandon your daily task list to Me. Do not resent frustrations, delays, and interruptions because there will be many. You must have the care of My Mother, who guarded her heart fiercely and went about from one thing to the next with such peace and tranquillity of heart, knowing what was placed before her was all from My hands.

“My beloved brides. do not lose heart when you are not able to accomplish your tasks or goals that you have set for yourself. I never called My brides to be goal-oriented but rather abandonment-oriented. I want a soul who will come when called, immediately—who will seek my will each day, moment by moment. There will be days when you desire to work tirelessly, feeling the pressures of what you feel is procrastination. But rather rush, rush demons causing you to push, become ambitious, and self-willed. You see, the devils are very clever. There are aspects of laziness and procrastination that My brides have to deal with within your characters.

But when I come to convict and even encourage, it’s gentle and loving. When you feel an enormous amount of pressure to do, to finish, to complete, to the point when you are not able to get what you want done you, fall into condemnations, guilt, discouragement, beating yourself up, then you know the devils are around. If they can get my brides busy like Martha, goal-oriented and ambitious, it will eventually lead to self-will because you are not driven by My love or my daily instructions, you are driven by your to-do list which takes on a mind of its own. However, if my bride is like Mary, sitting at my feet each day, seeking my presence instead, you are rather filled with my peace. You know my will and you can see my will in the delays and interruptions of the day and take it as they come. You receive it in joy, in peace, offering your service to the one who interrupted you as if you are offering your service to Me. Your heart stays free of complaints, murmuring, grudges, or even offense. You end the day knowing you did the best you could and responded in the best way—in charity, love, and hospitality. Now that is what I call a fruitful day, not getting your to-do list done. “

Okay, Lord, I see. Please help me. I feel terrible with so many things backed up.

“Well, then, ask me to help you to use your time wisely and stay single-minded. Remember, the devils will continue to get you distracted by your feelings. Don’t allow it. Just keep moving forward in service to Me or to another with peace and joy.

“I am giving you the grace, My brides, to say and take this prayer to hear. Pray,

‘Jesus not my will but yours be done. I empty myself and any task that I may want done today. I ask that you fill me with your will and fill me with your desire and Your love today. So I may give you a hand with whatever Is asked of Me by whoever.’

That was the end of Jesus’ message.

God bless you, family. Please continue to pray for us, as I pray for you guys.