Give Me this year as a gift

Hello, Brothers, Sisters, and Heartdwellers family.

This morning I was finding it hard to connect with the songs because much of what the Holy Spirit was playing was speaking about specific situations that I wasn’t going through, and the Lord always uses music to speak to me in worship. So I decided to get Rhema cards and they weren’t making sense either. I kept thinking, Lord, are all of these for someone else? because none of these things describe my current situation.

I could feel myself becoming anxious, however I felt Jesus wanted to speak to me. So I came before him, Jesus I am so confused please give me clarity on what your will is. Lord, I am here, needing to hear from You. I feel so much confusion.

Jesus began,

“This is a cross, Beloved, carry it with great tenderness because you are carrying it for another soul, one whom you know very well.”

Oh Lord, confusion in discernment and direction can be one of the hardest crosses especially when I am called to get counsel from You daily. I just don’t want to go wrong, and I sincerely want to do Your will. So please, make it clear to me.

Jesus responded,

“Well first things first, Beloved, simplify everything. The Rhema I gave you about St. Francis wasn’t just of holy poverty, but simplicity.

The Rhema said:

“Be an example my daughter. ─ St. Francis.

The back said:

“Francis knew that it was up to him to set an example for the friars, and he was anxious to practice what he preached.”

Jesus continued,

“Do not be excessive in anything ─ in talk, in work, in deed, nor in acquired items. Take less than you need and do not steal from the poor, remember? Even where I would have you live is in simplicity, not in comfortability or opulence. You were right to think, the living quarters given to you are My providence. It may not be exactly what you desire, the location you had in mind, or the distance that you want but I desire it and it will suit you both well. Pray for your beloved to accept My will and leave everything else to Me and thank Me for it. Gratitude must always be your heart attitude.”

Okay Lord, thanks.

“I can see the disappointment ─ but trust Me, My love. Just trust Me and stop trying to figure things out (smiling)”

As an aside guys, the place we have been given is a gift. However, it’s much farther than we like and it’s not just what I had in mind. I didn’t realize that I would be so attached when so many times I have said, “As long as I am with the one I love I can live in a shack.” And, as a Franciscan, that is the best place to be. But now, being given an apartment, I’m complaining about it. I’m a hot mess.

Lord, I know that’s why my head is spinning in confusion; I’m attached to so many things.

“Yes, that you are.”

Lord, what about the readings of honesty, the songs you played, and of obedience? I definitely want to be obedient to anything You have asked because I know the pain too keenly of going my own way. I don’t want to go there again. Please help me with clarity and what it is that you want me to do.

And Family, I was too attached to hear anything clearly, too many thoughts coming into my mind and wondering if this was the Lord So I stopped writing and sent it to my second leg for discernment and decided to work on other things. However, I felt led to get a Rhema message because I was still confused. I received Mother Clare’s message “Events Before the Rapture” & thumb drive for “Left Behind”. I thought, what does this have to do with anything? But I began reading her dialogue with Jesus and began reading between the lines, catching on to what Jesus was telling me through Mother Clare.

Mother Clare’s message: I was receiving all of this message with great caution, lest a familiar spirit deceive me, especially when it comes to talking about time frames. That can be a real pit to get into, and our minds can deceive us. The enemy can deceive us, too ─ so I was being ever so careful.

But I was beginning to really connect with the Lord and have peace that it was indeed Him. Besides, why would He mislead me? What has He to gain from that? This channel is all about the Love of God, His love for us, and our love for Him shown to our brothers. If He truly wants that message to stand, I don’t see how He could allow me to lead anyone astray. Nevertheless, Jesus, I trust in You. I believe You are faithful to give to us a fish and not a snake when we come to You this hungry for answers.

You see Heartdwellers – I struggle, too, with discernment. I know I am not worthy, but His Mercy is by far greater than my unworthiness, and for 35 years He has been faithful in His promises to Ezekiel and me. I never conceived of a ministry this size; I never sought it. All I sought was to do His will day after day, feeding the poor, recording music to share, and backing up Ezekiel sometimes when we would play at prayer groups. And with all my heart, from day one all I ever wanted was to tell everyone about the inconceivable love Jesus has for us. And that He is the Truth and the only Way.

Yet, He had promised that He would reach the world through me ─ that all my suffering and hard lessons would benefit others. I would be able to tell them about His love and that I just needed to not ‘grow weary in well doing’, and in the end, my obedience would bear fruit.

So you see? He has a track record with me. I believe Him. I trust Him. And all of His words to me have come to pass. He has proven Himself faithful in all His ways. The Lord was hiding me in His quiver for this time and He was testing me to see if I would be happy to be a little nobody, nowhere, doing nothing but loving Him. And that was His preparation to bring me into this ministry. He really, really humbled me and continues to do that. He brought me to the point where I said, “All that matters is You, Jesus. All that matters is what You want.”

So, I believe His words to me, because He has proven Himself.

At this point, Jesus continued, “Oh, I see the light dawning in your eyes, dear Clare…you are receiving My words to you in faith.”

Wow, Family, even reading this message – recording this to you, [sigh] really stirs in my heart. Jesus, I’m so sorry for my unbelief. It’s been a real struggle, guys, lately, to really, really believe what I’m hearing. Forgive me, Jesus. So I came back and began writing again.

Wow Lord, this is you ─ this message ─ I am so sorry for doubting You. I just began to reason with Your will and try to make sense of it all. Simply trying to figure things out.

Jesus continued,

“Beloved I will speak to your heart and bring you clarity. Did you not give me a blank check this year that I may do with you what I please?”

Yes, Lord, I did.

“So relinquish all rights and all your desires and how I must do things ─ just trust Me. I haven’t failed you yet, have I?”

No, You haven’t Lord. Okay, I say, “Yes” to Your will, I say “Yes”, Lord.

“Trust Me my little one. I am setting you up in all that must be done with the time you have here and for the accomplishment of My will concerning the work for the City of God. Everything plays a factor, and you will see in time.”

Okay, Lord, do you have a word for your flock?

“Well, your example is a great message. I want you to be an example of a blank canvas, a blank check, a dead body willing to do all that I ask, in the way I want it with no attachment or contending ─ just, ‘Yes Lord, may it be done according to Thy will.’

“That is the message for you and all My brides. Too many times souls come with their expectations for the new year ─ with goals, desires, and dreams in mind. For that, I do not fault you, My beloved brides. I even encouraged you to dream with Me again. But with those dreams, goals, and New Year’s resolutions come many attachments that can become obstacles to what I want to do in you, and in the way that I want to do it. I always accomplish your heart’s desires, for souls who trust Me and give me their all. The end of their lives will be filled with so much joy, happiness, and contentment. But you must let go and grab on to blind trust.

“Setting your dreams and aspirations before Me is good. Then leave them there saying, ‘Jesus, I am all yours’. When I gave you My life, I didn’t give you some or in seasons, but you may have Me all the time ─ where you need Me and when you need Me I am yours. ‘Lord, do with me as you please’. That is the cry of My brides hearts because it’s the same cry as mine when I came into the world and when I knew I was going to leave it. I never lived for Myself, not even once ─ but daily I submitted Myself to the will of the Father, moment by moment ─ day in and day out. I am asking My brides to do the same.

“So many want to go deeper but are far too attached to what they want, and fearful of what I will ask them to give up or sacrifice. So they stay in a place of knowing Me but being comfortable. Oh, My brides, I have called you for a far more adventurous life. Full of twists and turns, yes, but full of the greatest blessings, surprises, and joy that you could ever imagine if you would but trust me.

“My beloved little one, every time you have contended with Me, think, and look back. It seemed scary at first, but it always led to a joyful end, did it not?”

Yes, Lord, it did. I mean some things were painful ─ well almost every sacrifice was ─ but true, I am better for it.

“And you have learned to trust Me a bit more each time. So the same goes for now ─ again, let go and trust Me, you have given your, ‘Yes’ and I have received it. Continue to move forward in obedience with what you know to do and continue to say ‘Yes’ when I ask more of you. Pray for your beloved as well, that he, too, would say, ‘Yes’ to a life of simplicity wholeheartedly. This is just the beginning of good things, My dove.

“My brides, give Me this year as a gift, a blank slate on which I can ask anything from you, take anything from you, redirect, rearrange, and even move you if I see it fit for My purpose, knowing that I truly work all things out for your good.”

That was the end of Jesus’ message.