God’s Faithfulness– My testimony

Hello family, greetings in Jesus’ name. May you all be blessed in this Christmas season. During adoration, the Lord began to speak to me, to share my spiritual journey in my quest to seek the Lord. I began to seek the Lord in 2018 and had many pitfalls and falls in my life.

I was in serious errors in seeking the Lord. As the Lord urged me, I began to narrate the Lord.

Lord, first I tried to seek You through prophets, through prayer groups, and through experienced people, which is not wrong, but too much dependency on them creates laziness and unbelief because you have no source. You keep on waiting on others and impatience sets in. Then later I began to seek those who hear from you, thinking they will guide me. I miserably failed, familiar spirits set in, and later I began to seek the Lord. After I was devastated, I began to sob, beg the Lord in tears and weeping, not understanding the word, that He is pleased with faith. Then I too began to follow the writings of speakers and ministers and prepared Rhema books.

I began to take communion and try to worship, lacking understanding because I heard and read heartless messages that worship brings us closer. I failed to understand the rest of the message about the cross and suffering while I was drawing my eyes to the Lord. As I was drawing closer, the enemy began to deteriorate me through illusions, creating non-sacral sins that were livid and very much tormenting. That’s when I began to resent the Lord. All day I cried. I slept only two hours because the devil began to abuse me torment me and hurt me like anything. In all this chaos, it played another game on me, another Jesus. This Jesus played with the emotions of my need to love.

I thought there were demands of being with them like hugging and physical proximity. Jesus wants it and I fall for it. It was at this time I was filled with resentment, blasphemy, and unforgiveness against the Lord. I was always under condemnation and accusation by the enemy. When I read others’ messages and other directives the Lord was giving them, I began to follow them, not knowing that it was the Lord who was giving me the message. And I knew that what worked for them did not necessarily work for me. For instance, someone followed emphasizing Intercessory Prayers. I began to seek and imitate what they were doing. But the result was disappointing. I began to see I was fighting temptations.

I felt defeated, restlessness, depression, and unbelief. Someone followed charity works. I saw the movie of Mother Teresa and saw her wonderful work of love and charity. I became emotional and began to feel love for everybody and sought to help everybody that too didn’t sit well because his word says without me you can do nothing he is the vine and we are the branches without him it’s fruitless then I begin to follow my mentor she’s a very compassionate woman then again I was imitating her not Jesus finally I understood what stood to me we cannot please the Lord in our ways it’s him who does in us worship prayer meditation love good works everything is His grace and we are nothing so I come to understanding is abundant to Him allow Him to dwell in us and work through us what to do and what not to do is only up to the Lord. Many times I started programming myself to become the Lord the Father then working and Stumbled over what surrendering means. It means not to do anything on your strength, on your opinions, or any of your desires which can be held to let the Lord decide our course through intimacy through knowing him sitting at his feet and knowing his heart and seeking his will and love him for he has loved us more than anything For he gave our sins and continues to forgive us never give up on us. His love is so great that I want to abandon myself to the Lord .The Lord began to speak,

“My dear one. I sought you. I knew you went through many motions. Deception. Heartbreak. Many times you resented me for you didn’t feel my love. There is a reason I was testing you. You were brave. Dear, I allowed these torments to the extent when they wanted to make you insane But my mercy Prevented this onslaught against you Jahnavi. Trust me what you went through was not ordinary you were possessed and delivered Still trapped in his lies Trust me. I love you not because you stood but because you loved me you pursued me dear because you wanted love from me to give to others I was testing you molding you sharpening you. Against your enemies, it was a hard fight.”

I began to doubt in my heart.

Why you are glorifying me Lord when I couldn’t withstand this term without your help?

“Exactly dear. I am NOT glorifying. I’m highlighting your struggles your faith in me. Your persistence to have me in your humiliations you still wanted me that’s what I want to share with the world my dear ones. Gold is dusted in fire. Jahnavi gave up everything and she continues to give because she loves me. She knew there is something about Jesus she needs to find. She found me. How wonderful I am, how merciful I am and how humble and meek, patient, encouraging and loving.

She saw my compassion, my heart for the mankind, my forgiveness, my playfulness, my care, my love and my passion for her to see her saved that much. She knew that she wants abundance everything for me my dear ones this is who I am what she discovered you will to know I am a gentle God ever loving very caring I shepherded her when she resented me she had severe anger on me and unbelief still persisted her to trust me I showed my faithfulness I showed my love now she is believing who I am that is who I am beloved ones I do care Jahnavi wept umpteen times for my love and my presence.

Little did she know I wept for her too longing for her I wanted to show my love to her but she was in a different understanding I had to heal her and let her know my real love now she trusted me and trusted her life to me I will make it beautiful trust me dear ones your God loves you deeply that I come running when you call me when you are hurt I’m hurt too I feel your every pain every deal every loss and roof illuminate me with grace and I’ve desire is not unknown to me. I know your every desire.

But dear ones, trust me and trust my lead. Follow me. I will make your dreams come true. Trust me and follow me. We will see and accomplish together great things. Trust me with your life. Trust me with your desires. I know which is good and which is not. Trust me when things go wrong. Trust me in your heartbreaks, in your marriage, in raising children, in your business, family, and spiritual life. I am good. I will lead you.

I love you forevermore. Trust me. I will lead you to eternal life. Amen. Dear ones, I’m sharing my testimony that many who are in want to seek the Lord or are in fear or any other insecurities and doubts, don’t do it with your wisdom, programs, process, and techniques. All it is the heart. If you seek me with you, all your heart, you will find me. That’s scriptural. Study the word and seek him in your private time. That is where he comes to meet you. May you find your savior in this season. Closing the message, I want to add a testimony. Today I was praying in the prayer group and the Lord urged me to pray for the church and stir the gifts of the Holy Spirit. As I prayed, I heard the prayers. I had a vision that the church had many gifts, but all were not used or put away.

As I shared with them, we all began to pray, and the ladies were overwhelmed and filled with passion to seek the Lord. My dear ones, when you truly have just the desire to seek the Lord, he will come through. He may wait for an opportune time to reveal himself to you, but He will visit. So open your hearts to him and wait on him. Lord will come for a year when he is at the cross before your soul can find your salvation. Lord may come, for He is your counselor and servant. Stay encouraged and keep seeking him. Amen.