Why Wasn’t I Healed? – Part 2

~ A Teaching From Mother Clare ~

He knows he is in God’s will, but God has allowed the suffering of this illness.

Well, we used to live up on a mountain here in New Mexico, in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains and we would have to ride by horseback to get to our mission up in the mountains…to our little chapel nestled in the mountains. My husband would go into Espanola, which is about 50 miles from here, and he would be busy with mission work on the streets. Boy, I tell you we would go through some things. I remember one winter, when we had sheep and horses, we couldn’t give them water because it was so cold the water from the well was freezing. So what did we do?

We had to build fires around the well to get enough water melted so that it would go down to the horse pen and the sheep pen and have what they needed. It was unbelievable what we went through for just a few drops …the biting cold, wet feet, frozen fingers, and different tools to break the ice up and get the fire going around the well. We would just suffer a whole lot from that. My son and I would look at each other and say, “Boy, dad must be having a very productive time in Espanola because this certainly is a cross. Sure enough, he’d come home three or four days later and say, “Honey, you just wouldn’t believe what the Lord did. I would say, “If it has anything to do with what we suffered, I totally would believe it.”

We began to recognize a pattern and the pattern was simply that suffering would come to us at a time when we were praying for certain people. Sometimes people would come to me for prayer and tell me how much pain they were in and the first thing I would ask them was, “Who are you praying for?” The pattern we’ve seen is when we are in deep intercession for a person, it doesn’t even have to be a sound, fervent prayer. It’s consent of the will.

Let’s just say that a person comes to us for prayer and they tell us they have loved ones who are caught up in the drug culture. They’re really suffering and in very dangerous positions. And then other people will say, “I’ve been praying for so-and-so, and so-and-so.” I have noticed I can take on a prayer burden for someone and not even get into the burden, but just say, “Yes, I’ll pray for you,” and they can be going through tremendous upheaval and tremendously difficult times and I’ll either get a severe headache or something will happen physically to my body that is very painful. I recognize that it’s…well I have fibromyalgia. So I don’t have to wait long.

I will recognize that there is a connection between the cross of fibromyalgia and the person I’m praying for. I may not even be in prayer. I may not be shedding tears and pleading with Heaven. It’s just the consent of my will and the Lord gave me a cross. I received that cross, knowing that it wasn’t for me to be healed but for me to use to heal others. Some people would argue that grace can’t be bought. I’m not saying grace is be bought by the cross. What I’m saying is what did the Lord do with His cross? By His suffering He relieved many burdens we have. And when He said, “Deny yourself pick up your cross and follow me.” He’s expecting us to carry a burden of some kind for humanity, for the sanctification of souls.

He did everything necessary for salvation, but what about those missionaries that are deep in the jungle and are having difficulty getting to the tribes that have never heard the good news? Salvation is coming with those missionaries, but their suffering is through dysentery or maybe malaria and it’s very difficult for them to get through. When people are back here in the states praying for them and offering up their crosses for those people in the mission field, the blockades move to the side and those missionaries move in and the hearts of the people are open to receive the Word of God, to receive salvation, and sanctification.

So, we didn’t create salvation by our prayers, or sufferings, or our cross, but we certainly aided the missionaries who were carrying the finished work of the cross to those people. That’s exciting. That’s so exciting. You people out there who are sick, you have no idea the power of your prayers. They’re unbelievably powerful.

So many of us who have been in pain are suffering incredible depression, because we’re saying we can’t do the things we want to do. We want to serve the Lord this way and serve the Lord that way but we prevented from doing it because we’re sick. Let me tell you something, people: God gave you a precious, golden cross that is accomplishing so much more than you could possibly accomplish on your own going to those people. You’re backing someone up. You’re opening a heart. You’re defrosting some souls that have been frozen in ice forever. Every single time you receive a cross from the Lord, whether it be sickness, or whether it be a well that’s frozen solid and it’s now producing water – whether it be a traffic jam, be it a toothache… we’ve seen some amazing miracles with toothaches! No matter what it is that God allows in your life, that’s a suffering. It is a cross. If He chooses to leave that cross with you, you shouldn’t lay under condemnation that you weren’t healed.

You see, people don’t understand and they beat you and they beat you and they tell you “by His stripes you are healed.” Ok, I believe that. So… why didn’t He heal me? I’m not saying that’s not true. He healed the person next to me. He healed me last week of something else – but why didn’t he heal me of this? I’m finding out more and more, when you receive a cross like cancer, MS, fibromyalgia… God is using your suffering to release graces to souls. You are in the midst of an incredible fast offering and you should be joyful about it. You shouldn’t be beating yourself up and sad because you’re not healed and the person next to you was.

God loves you and He sees the strength of your love for Him. Because He sees this, He allows you to carry that cross of that illness, because He knows that you will carry it with love. I do so want the body of Christ to understand that, when you are sick or suffering, you are doing a very profoundly important work for Jesus. The time that you are not healed, to the time that you are healed, incredible things are happening. You won’t see them now…well you might…you might see those results in your family and in your children. But if you don’t see those results, the Lord is hiding it from you. And some day, when you go to be with Him, you’re going to find out just how much good your suffering did, because you received it as a cross. It’s been on my heart to share for a long time.

Going back to what we said. He began to teach them the Son of man must suffer many things. We know we’re going to be rejected for being a Christian and we know we can get martyred and killed, that can happen. Peter was thinking as a man thinks. The Lord said, “Get behind me Satan. You do not have the mind the things of God but the things of men.” Man thinks we should be healthy, prosperous, and happy. The Kingdom of God is not food or drink. It’s righteousness, peace, and joy.

It’s not things that pertain to the carnal body. It’s things that pertain to your heart, your mind, and your spirit. That was the purpose of His Cross: to releases graces for us. What He did is far greater than anything we could ever do, but He is allowing us to participate in that. Just as Paul said, “I am glad for you when I suffer in my body because I am participating in the sufferings of Christ.” Wait of minute, He wasn’t being crucified. Well, he suffered being shipwrecked, being bitten by a poisonous snake. He did suffer being stoned.